(January 11, 2017 at 3:58 pm)It_Was_me Wrote:

(January 11, 2017 at 3:56 pm)Alex K Wrote: I'm just retroactively trying to convince myself that I made all the right decisions. I'm an academic working in education, married with kids, so if that's what you are going for in life, you can take advice from me. If you want something more exciting, don't do as I say.

I can't do anything but ask; what is your field of expertise?

I'm a theoretical physicist by training, my research specialty is the Higgs boson and Higher dimensions. Right now though I'm teaching school and college full time because family

Sounds like that person, whoever they were, didn't realise the impact their words might have on you. Being a virgin is not something to be ashamed of, so do away with that notion immediately, if you thought that at all. It doesn't matter if you're 18, 23, or 50. In my experience it's hardly a deal-breaker for every woman alive as well. One of my best mates' first time was at the grand old age of 24 - there was much high-fiving when he delivered the good news to me

Attractiveness cannot be measured objectively either. Everyone has their own "types", and what you perceive to be handsome or pretty may not be the perception of someone else. If your aim to is simply "get laid", then it's a matter of using whatever tools you have at your disposal. Put your mind to it, and you WILL succeed. There are far "uglier" (both inside and out) people that have done so and succeeded than you.

The most important thing is to not let it worry you. It's not the be-all and end-all that some might make it out to be, it's just one of life's many pleasures. Don't get me wrong, it is pretty fuckin' great, but being inexperienced with the opposite sex isn't some black spectre that should hang over your life and get you down.
Relax, trust your instincts, and look for ways to improve your chances along the way. You have 4 billion years of genetic programming aimed entirely at reproduction behind you - sooner or later you will figure out how you personally can tap into and utilise that

Meh, whats a little HPV between friends?  You could, ofc, wear a condom.  I've heard they help.  

On the level, I think you've given this too much thought.   By too much I mean any thought at all.  You're looking for attributions and personal defects to explain something far simpler.  I didn't get any last night.  I even brushed my teeth.  Now the night before, buddy, shit got live.  Strangest thing, I was just as ugly both nights.  Loosen up, don't worry about it.  

There's nothing wrong with you, you just don't have any play.

@ Iro

Well your mate beat me I was 25 when I lost mine

Virginity means nothing to me. Actually, the guy I'm dating now was a virgin when we first met and I did not care at all. What mattered more at first was his confidence and our shared interests. We took care if the rest much later.

I'm not a dating expert and I don't have any reliable advice, but just keep getting out there and talking to people. You only fail when you stop trying.

I was actually pretty insecure about it as well because I lost my virginity at 21 after I graduated from school, later than most of my peers and friends. When I had sex, I felt a sense of relief that I now belonged to "those in the know", and immediately stopped ever thinking about it. Sex was nice, but once I had it and the novelty wore.off, not all that interesting after all. Now it's just a nice thing that is also there, that I don't think about most of the time (except sometimes when I look at my daughter I think, huh, sex was invented for that, eh? What a weird thing) YMMV

The person I lost my virginity to actually found it a turn on that my first experience was with her. She found it exciting.

(January 11, 2017 at 4:09 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: The person I lost my virginity to actually found it a turn on that my first experience was with her. She found it exciting.

The person I lost my virginity with couldn't help but laugh because I was so clumsy the first time. Well, as long as she's having fun.

I had a buddy in the service, who would walk up and down the street propositioning girls.  I;m not talking one or two.  "You;re gorgeous, come home with me" was the only pickup line he knew.   Friendly guy, not particularly attractive, but overflowingly friendly.  Shit worked for him.  Some will, some won't, so what.  Watching him pull that made me think there was something wrong with me, lol.   Hell, almost made me want to go home with him.

Lost my virginity to a girl named Angel.  Tried for years with my gf, but she just wasn't down for that noise back then. She ended up being pretty hardcore a few years later. Full disclosure, I grew up around alot of strippers.  Real sweethearts too.  Three words to get a stripper into bed with you.  "I've got blow".  Tried that one OP?  



Strangest first night hookup that ever worked for me centered around Maya Angelou. I know right? Ended up marrying the girl. Wife no1 in the bag.

(January 11, 2017 at 4:13 pm)Alex K Wrote:

(January 11, 2017 at 4:09 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote: The person I lost my virginity to actually found it a turn on that my first experience was with her. She found it exciting.

The person I lost my virginity with couldn't help but laugh because I was so clumsy the first time. Well, as long as she's having fun.

My saving grace was my dexterity