Ken Ham's Creation museum is FAILING!!!!!

[The Grand Nudger]

You mean "gopherwood"?  Pretty sure that's the biblical version of a snipe hunt.

[Astonished]

You mean "gopherwood"?  Pretty sure that's the biblical version of a snipe hunt.

Sounds like it would have to be found underground...so maybe they WERE able to build it in the middle of the barren desert after all! HOLY SHIT THE BIBLE IS TRUE PRAISE JEEBUS I BELIEVE I SEE THE LIGHT AND -

Wait, what about all the animal shit and one window? No, no, that doesn't add up at all.

[Pat Mustard]

Magic book doesn't say it -wasn't- a multitier reinforced concrete mesh pylon supported structure with a wooden facade.  You can't prove it wasn't, were you there?

Or with a workforce of thousands. Just curious, did they even bother building it out of the same kind of wood that would have been available that long ago in a place I don't really imagine there being a lot of trees?

Nobody's yet figured out what "gopherwood" is. And the ancient near East was a lot more forested than it is now, but all the seafaring cultures and climate change put paid to that.

[Astonished]

So is there ANY wood on earth that wouldn't buckle and cause an ark that size to sink? Is gopherwood some kind of magic substance that wouldn't fall to that reality?

[Anomalocaris]

So is there ANY wood on earth that wouldn't buckle and cause an ark that size to sink? Is gopherwood some kind of magic substance that wouldn't fall to that reality?

No.  5000 years of experience in the construction of wooden ocean going ship finally culminated at the end of the long wooden ship era in the mid 19th century in the largest wooden ships that were reliably documented.  These ships were about 300 feet long, 60 feet wide, and displaced around 5,000 tons.   Those ships didn't work very well, flexed like a noodle in heavy seas and leaked like sieves because of limited strength and stiffness of wood, and ships didn't get bigger until they inserted iron bracing into the hull.

[Astonished]

So is there ANY wood on earth that wouldn't buckle and cause an ark that size to sink? Is gopherwood some kind of magic substance that wouldn't fall to that reality?

No.  5000 years of experience in the construction of wooden ocean going ship finally culminated at the end of the long wooden ship era in the mid 19th century in the largest wooden ships that were reliably documented.  These ships were about 300 feet long, 60 feet wide, and displaced around 5,000 tons.   Those ships didn't work very well, flexed like a noodle in heavy seas and leaked like sieves because of limited strength of wood, and ships didn't get bigger until they inserted iron bracing into the hull.

Well, shit, that just means they WILL proclaim that gopherwood IS magic and would not have the limitations of any other earthly wood.

[Cyberman]

That's the real point, isn't it? There's no way to get through the whole Noah story without pulling the escape rope labelled "magic" somewhere down the line. I think three sentences is the record so far.

[Anomalocaris]

No.  5000 years of experience in the construction of wooden ocean going ship finally culminated at the end of the long wooden ship era in the mid 19th century in the largest wooden ships that were reliably documented.  These ships were about 300 feet long, 60 feet wide, and displaced around 5,000 tons.   Those ships didn't work very well, flexed like a noodle in heavy seas and leaked like sieves because of limited strength of wood, and ships didn't get bigger until they inserted iron bracing into the hull.

Well, shit, that just means they WILL proclaim that gopherwood IS magic and would not have the limitations of any other earthly wood.

They can argue the ark didn't need to be ship shaped because it didn't really need to navigate, only float. So it could be square, or round. It also didn't need to worry about draft or windage, so can be built much deeper than practical navigable vessel. So in theory an ark could be much more commodious than the largest practical wooden vessel that actually had to navigate.

But the same practical thinking that might lead to this alibi would also note the impracticality of every other aspect of the story. In other words, any creationist who can think up practical ways to increase the plausibility of an ark wouldn't have been dumb enough to be a creationist in the first place.

[Astonished]

A sphere or square would constantly be turning on its side or going upside-down and an ark that big would definitely kill anyone who would fall from the floor to the ceiling when that happened.

[Cyberman]

But the same practical thinking that might lead to this alibi would also note the impracticality of every other aspect of the story. In other words, any creationist who can think up practical ways to increase the plausibility of an ark wouldn't have been dumb enough to be a creationist in the first place.

It's like trying to fit a duvet into a pillowcase. You might get one bit to fit properly, but not at the same time as everything else without hideous amounts of stretching.