Spanking?

[Athene]

Forgive me if I’m pointing out the obvious here, but imma try and play mediator.

I think we’re witnessing a culture clash here: Boru is Irish, and in Ireland , all corporal punishment is illegal. So, it’s easy to understand why he’d be so strongly against it.

By contrast, Athena is black, specifically African-American, and while  corporal punishment by African-American parents is a depressingly complicated subject (rooted in, among other things, layers of internalized oppression) that I, as a honky, am probably not equipped to talk about), but in spite of my racial handicap, it makes sense to me to hypothesize that, in the behavioral sink that is America, with that cultural baggage in mind, she’s probably seen enough use of spanking as a sort of Godzilla Threshold that it’s become normal. So it also makes sense to me why she  would think that.

You can argue about which perspective is more valid till the cows come home (and I personally lean more towards Boru’s perspective, as I said earlier), but I don’t think this discussion is going to get anywhere until we try and think about why you hold those beliefs.

Please, don't attempt to explain where I'm coming from in regards to my own mind, because you're totally off in regards to me. I can't speak for Boru, of course.

I've made it clear multiple times that I don't advocate spanking. 
My position is not a result of "internalized oppression" and "reliving Black racial trauma". 

It's one of recognizing that child-rearing is much more complex than many people realize, and understanding that rushing to label any and every parent who's ever spanked a child as a child abuser could stand to be at direct odds with what's actually in child's best interest if they have good parents who don't normally resort to spanking and clearly value disciplining children using non-corporal means.

Maybe you should go find another argument to mediate, Rev, because I'm not interested in your offer. I know you meant well, but it was wildly presumptuous and rather insulting for you suggest that I need YOU to assist me in my journey in learning to understand myself and my own Blackness, and that my every thought and opinion in this thread has it's roots slavery just because you read some goddamn article. 

I know exactly why I think what I think. Trust and believe, I'm self-aware as fuck.

[WinterHold]

Forgive me if I’m pointing out the obvious here, but imma try and play mediator.

I think we’re witnessing a culture clash here: Boru is Irish, and in Ireland , all corporal punishment is illegal. So, it’s easy to understand why he’d be so strongly against it.

By contrast, Athena is black, specifically African-American, and while  corporal punishment by African-American parents is a depressingly complicated subject (rooted in, among other things, layers of internalized oppression) that I, as a honky, am probably not equipped to talk about), but in spite of my racial handicap, it makes sense to me to hypothesize that, in the behavioral sink that is America, with that cultural baggage in mind, she’s probably seen enough use of spanking as a sort of Godzilla Threshold that it’s become normal. So it also makes sense to me why she  would think that.

You can argue about which perspective is more valid till the cows come home (and I personally lean more towards Boru’s perspective, as I said earlier), but I don’t think this discussion is going to get anywhere until we try and think about why you hold those beliefs.

Please, don't attempt to explain where I'm coming from in regards to my own mind, because you're totally off in regards to me. I can't speak for Boru, of course.

I've made it clear multiple times that I don't advocate spanking. 
My position is not a result of "internalized oppression" and "reliving Black racial trauma". 

It's one of recognizing that child-rearing is much more complex than many people realize, and understanding that rushing to label any and every parent who's ever spanked a child as a child abuser could stand to be at direct odds with what's actually in child's best interest if they have good parents who don't normally resort to spanking and clearly value disciplining children using non-corporal means.

Maybe you should go find another argument to mediate, Rev, because I'm not interested in your offer. I know you meant well, but it was wildly presumptuous and rather insulting for you suggest that I need YOU to assist me in my journey in learning to understand myself and my own Blackness, and that my every thought and opinion in this thread has it's roots slavery just because you read some goddamn article. 

I know exactly why I think what I think. Trust and believe, I'm self-aware as fuck.

But mutual spanking would add a decoration to the sex process; some playful "teasing" of the partner's body is good; or so I think.

I'm not a big fan of spanking; I also have no fetish regarding the thing..but it's an excitement in sex; just like when partners play "domination/Femdom" with their wives or husbands.

A nude wife,spanking me and let me spank her..well that's good !

[Chad32]

I think it would help people learn to parent better if they didn't feel it's normal to get violent with children. "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about" isn't a good mentality. It only creates a rift between you, and the other person. Discipline, sure, but don't assault them.

I totally admit having said this a time or two, however I would never under any circumstances actually hit a child. But usually with small children I don’t have any issues it’s around 10 when they get lippy and wear on your last nerve. Especially since when you’re a midget like me and they think towering over you is funny.

My 13 year old niece is already taller than her mother, and it bothers her to no end. I laugh with my niece about it because I remember my sister lording her height over me before I hit puberty. So karma.

[Losty]

Spanking is great between consenting adults. Otherwise, no.

[Rev. Rye]

Fair enough, Athene.

[Aegon]

All spanking children did was give them a fetish as adults.

😊maybe

All I'm saying is I've never slept with a woman who didn't like it.

The sample size might be low though :/

[Gwaithmir]

Spanking is great between consenting adults. Otherwise, no.

My last girlfriend liked being spanked (lightly) before sex. 

[Losty]

So about keeping children out of the road... you need to watch them. If they won't stay out of the road without being watched you need to watch them. In the example of kids that wander in to the woods even after being repeatedly presented consequences, well then spanking won't work either and you will have to find a way to bar them from doing the thing.

Keep the consequences natural.

Have neutral conversations with your kid about the rules of the house and the expectations of the house.

Get to a consequence that will actually modify/stop the behavior.

Yes, it is difficult and much easier to say than do, but collaborative problem solving will get you much further than spanking.

There is cool thing some parents are doing these days, it’s called...supervising their children lol

[The Grand Nudger]

Thanks for all the advice guys, but I've got this pretty well handled.

[Chad32]

So about keeping children out of the road... you need to watch them. If they won't stay out of the road without being watched you need to watch them. In the example of kids that wander in to the woods even after being repeatedly presented consequences, well then spanking won't work either and you will have to find a way to bar them from doing the thing.

Keep the consequences natural.

Have neutral conversations with your kid about the rules of the house and the expectations of the house.

Get to a consequence that will actually modify/stop the behavior.

Yes, it is difficult and much easier to say than do, but collaborative problem solving will get you much further than spanking.

There is cool thing some parents are doing these days, it’s called...supervising their children lol

That would take effort. You're supposed to just kick them outside, and tell them to be back by lunch.