The Last Movie You Watched

[Fake Messiah]

Pain and Glory [Spanish: Dolor y gloria] (2019) I thought I would not be able to get through the movie because it is hard for me to identify with a rich and famous person who is "suffering" (doesn't know what to do with himself), but when it turned out he is just a poor little boy from a cave, I immediately felt the connection with him and watched the movie till the end.

[Fake Messiah]

A little movie about a female rebellion against being slut-shamed by Christians

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project is the last of Craig Moss' trilogy of Seltzerberg follow-the-leader films: The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall And Felt Superbad About It. As you can guess, it's mostly a spoof of the works of Judd Apatow. I don't think I've ever bothered to watch any of these films in full, except for Walk Hard and The Big Sick. Just some clips. And, for this year's Fourth of July, what's more American than talking shit about things you don't know about?

• What the fuck is this? A lawyer-friendly version of Spandau Ballet's "True"?
  
• And why is that guy's dick so high up on his chest? Is that how Tommy Wiseau thinks the reproductive organs work? 
  
• I don't know what's dumber, the fact that this kid's giving himself the name McAnalovin' or the fact that he's apparently a Yeshiva boy. Yes, I am well aware that this is a reference to the McLovin' scene. It's just a really uncreative one.
  
• And how the fuck does that black dude's Benjamin Button disease work? First, he's 3 days old, and then he's 25 years old. Dafuq?
  
• And maybe the blatant virgin-shaming in this scene is why I've spent so long not bothering to watched the actual film.
  
• Simonizing your dick? How does one sell sacred objects with your penis? And does that mean that when they go to Hell, they go in with their dicks buried in the ground or with everything else buried in the ground? Why, yes, I am kind of obsessed with the Divine Comedy.
  
• If he's never masturbated, then what was the fake sour cream the not-Superbad kids were complimenting him on?
  
• Is that black guy supposed to be using an African accent or an Asian one?
  
• So, why is McAnalovin' getting arrested by cops who turn this into a Let's Play of Grand Theft Auto?
  
• If you're gonna add Rob Thomas to your list of Mexicans, why not add Michelle Branch?
  
  
  And now I can't help but wonder what it would have been like if Gregg Alexander kept The New Radicals long enough to write this song and put this on an album. Of course, that said, I'm not sure the trade-off between Carlos Santana and Rusty Anderson would be good.
• Motherfucker can't even do Gallagher right. Of course, doing that would probably involve far more racist jokes that you have to sit through before you get to the Sledge-o-Matic.
  
• And these rampaging Mexicans' vendetta also applies to the other not-Superbad kids who didn't rob him? 
  
• Huh, evidently the reason that Breaking Wind didn't cover the first two Twilight books is because Edward appears in this one?
  
• Here's the problem I've always had with Dos Equis' "Most Interesting Man in the World" ads: He's not Werner Herzog. And he's still not Herzog in this movie.
  
• A reference to TMZ? Is this going to devolve into jokes about teabagging again?
  
• Okay, so both this movie and Forgetting Sarah Marshall have characters with the same name. Is that even supposed to be legal?
  
• A vagina driving? There's at least four movies that I know of that involve a talking pussy. You're not a strong swimmer? I think the fact that you'd be running out of air in this car would be a bigger problem.
  
• And they make the thunderstorm baseball from Twilight is now a fart lighting contest?
  
• I don't know who that guy is, who he's parodying, or why he has this obviously fake moustache and put-on 1930s accent, but I like him.
  
• Oh, he's actually a shit Chris Hansen imitator. 
  
• And what the shit kind of trans person is that? 
  
• Why is this guy so terrifying? And why is he trying and failing to do a Daniel Plainview imitation?
  
• Why does this guy taking a dump need loud and overpowering Indian music?
  
• So, Sarah goes from zero to heavily pregnant in the span of a day? 
  
• To be fair, I'd probably look that far down that I'd recognise new flip-flops first.
  
• So, being half-Mexican explains why her biology is so fucked?
  
• Is it just me or does Not-Steve Carrell now sound like Jordan Peterson?
  
• Why is Spike Lee a small child?
  
• Also, apparently, not-Russell Brand has sex with Sarah and then again after she's pregnant with his baby, and the baby's got his hand on not-Russell's dick like this is The House of Yes. Words fail me.
  
• A Swastika tramp stamp? Why? And how can she go decades without knowing what the fuck it is?
  
• Now, they've got fake Dr. Phil for DNA tests when you'd think they'd go for fake Steve Wilkos or fake Maury Povich.
  
• And how the fuck are these tests even supposed to work? Get something blue and they've got the baby daddy?
  
• Something about the way the brunette's trying to talk while she's seducing Sarah makes me wonder if this is what WoahVicky would sound like if she didn't decide she was black.
  
• If Yoda's a 140-year-old virgin, how does Baby Yoda exist? 
  
• How is a police car from the mainland end up in Maui? And why does it briefly turn CGI?
  
• Wait, didn't he knock up Sarah Marshall half a movie ago? How is he still a virgin?
  
• Wait, she gives birth to the Verizon "Can You Hear Me Now" guy?
  
• And why does this pregnancy include births with multiple fathers?
  
• Why is that girl birthing what are clearly plastic baby dolls which go onto a conveyer belt where they're dropped into what looks like a hamper and two girls who may or not be Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson are playing rock-paper-scissors and failing to do anything but a draw.
  
• It takes a special kind of stupid to have a newscaster explain that a wildfire has been completely extinguished and have video of it still blazing.
  

Next week is also Shark week, and Jurassic Shark is still on Prime, so I guess I'll be doing that one.

[Brian37]

Humphrey Bogart, "The Harder They Fall"

I am no fan of boxing, but in reality, in sports history, their is a long line of nefarious actors. Just like Pete Rose or Lance Armstrong. 

The plot of this movie had Bogart's character get in with promoting a Mexican boxer, but over the plot of the movie Bogart's character realizes that an innocent man, the boxer he is promoting, is simply being used and the matches are ultimately rigged.

[AniKoferBo]

Cube (1997)

[Jackalope]

[Angrboda]

[Jackalope]

So totes recommend ""The Godfather".

Somehow we're now watching "Daydream belivers: the Monkees story" and we both agree on two counts;:; it's awful, and we can't not watch.

OMG it's bad.

Bad.

Terribad.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

So totes recommend ""The Godfather".

Somehow we're now watching "Daydream belivers: the Monkees story" and we both agree on two counts;:; it's awful, and we can't not watch.

OMG it's bad.

Bad.

Terribad.

‘The Godfather’ is one of those films I can’t not watch.

Boru

[onlinebiker]

Nobody.


Bob Odenkirk kills.

In every meaning of the word.