[Serious] Are you in therapy?

[arewethereyet]

^^^Very much this.

A grief counselor was what I needed when my first husband died. Someone who specialized in that particular need. My doctor pointed me to the right person.

Later in life I got a wonderful recommendation from a friend for someone who helped me tremendously with a family issue.

When I was diagnosed with cancer it was suggested I look into a group therapy sort of thing. So I gave it a try but soon found out that it was really a chemo support group much more than it was a cancer support group. I didn't do chemo or radiation and a couple of members of the group made sure I knew I wasn't 'cancery' enough to be part of their club. I tried going back a few times but eventually it was more upsetting than helpful.

The right fit makes a huge difference as well as being open to allowing therapy to help you.

[Spongebob]

I would say you don't understand the practice of therapy.  Sure, like any medical practitioner, they learn how to perform their profession in college, but any good therapist does far more than read from a script.  A lot of people with no experience in therapy don't understand what it is or how it works.  All I can say is that you can't judge something you have no experience with or don't understand.  

And it's really sad that you believe that you would only need a therapist if you had problems with one of those things on your list.  There are lot of other problems/issues in life than that short list.

Take this with a grain of salt Winter, spongy has 'everyone needs therapy' bias. You may or may not benefit, routinely check in with your physicians and follow their directions. If they suggest therapy give it a try, you can always quit.

I didn't recommend he go or not go to therapy. I only addressed his perception of what it is and the people who do it.  In fact your post didn't remotely address my comments. Clearly you have a personal issue with me that is becoming childish.

[brewer]

Take this with a grain of salt Winter, spongy has 'everyone needs therapy' bias. You may or may not benefit, routinely check in with your physicians and follow their directions. If they suggest therapy give it a try, you can always quit.

I didn't recommend he go or not go to therapy. I only addressed his perception of what it is and the people who do it.  In fact your post didn't remotely address my comments. Clearly you have a personal issue with me that is becoming childish.

From your post #16

I have had therapy and it was amazing. Finding a compatible therapist is key, however. I recommend it to everyone, whether you believe you need it or not. If you open up and don't hold back it can increase your self awareness in ways you never imagined. If you don't participate, it won't do any better then going to the gym five days a week and sitting at the table drinking Jamba juice. The only reason I'm not in therapy now is the cost, which can be very high if your insurance doesn't cover it. Mine only covered a short period. I'm currently looking for loopholes.

Nuff said.

[arewethereyet]

Moderator Notice
Please remember that this is a 'serious' thread and not the place for grievances.

[zwanzig]

Back on topic, once again, I thank folks for offering their advice and experiences. Things with my family have calmed down somewhat but I think that's mostly because I've become more introspective during this search I'm doing for resources and goal setting for an eventual conversation with someone.

[arewethereyet]

Back on topic, once again, I thank folks for offering their advice and experiences. Things with my family have calmed down somewhat but I think that's mostly because I've become more introspective during this search I'm doing for resources and goal setting for an eventual conversation with someone.

It's good to hear that things have calmed down with family. And now that it's not the biggest issue, perhaps you can find the right person who can help you with your needs and not focusing as much on how to deal with others.

Good luck in your continued search.

[Spongebob]

I didn't recommend he go or not go to therapy. I only addressed his perception of what it is and the people who do it.  In fact your post didn't remotely address my comments. Clearly you have a personal issue with me that is becoming childish.

From your post #16

I have had therapy and it was amazing. Finding a compatible therapist is key, however. I recommend it to everyone, whether you believe you need it or not. If you open up and don't hold back it can increase your self awareness in ways you never imagined. If you don't participate, it won't do any better then going to the gym five days a week and sitting at the table drinking Jamba juice. The only reason I'm not in therapy now is the cost, which can be very high if your insurance doesn't cover it. Mine only covered a short period. I'm currently looking for loopholes.

Nuff said.

I see, so you are now trolling me.  Very well.  If you read the OP, Ten was asking whether anyone had had therapy and whether it had helped.  See below.

Are you in therapy? Have you been in therapy before? Has it helped you at all? 

So within that context, my comment, exactly as you posted, is completely reasonable.  I have had therapy and it was helpful and I recommend it to everyone.  That isn't from a practitioner's perspective but from a patient's perspective.  I found it so valuable that I don't see why it wouldn't be valuable to anyone.  But of course I know not everyone will be interested.  There's really nothing wrong with my comment and no reason to go bullying me about it.

Now 'nuff said.

---

Moderator Notice
Please remember that this is a 'serious' thread and not the place for grievances.

Yes, you are correct and I have posted only serious, legitimate comments.  Others are using this and other threads for trolling and bullying.  I would appreciate it if you would ask him to stop.

[Mermaid]

Therapy can be enormously helpful. I went into it because I was in a place where I was on the verge of complete emotional collapse. I had no clue what to expect and I wasn't hopeful going in. It was uncomfortable and awkward, and I hated all of it. I finally managed to "graduate" not fully understanding how much it had helped me, but then I took some steps back from it and gave it a good think, and realized what I had come away with was extremely valuable to my own sanity. She taught me mindfulness and she also made me understand that it wasn't me who was the issue, it was my work culture.

It's not for everyone, and it can be hard, especially finding a therapist who fits you. I went to one during an earlier (more serious) crisis, and she called me a "wimp" because I told her I was afraid of my husband. So yeah, they're not all helpful, but I think therapy saved my career as I was days away from having to resign because of the toxic, unbelievably stressful, sexist culture. 

More recently I have been seeing one because of a very traumatic event that happened over the summer. Turns out I didn't need her, I don't think. I just wanted to be sure. With our Zoom culture, finding one is much easier, and I strongly recommend just trying even if you aren't sure you want to see one. You have nothing to lose but your copay.

[Spongebob]

Therapy can be enormously helpful. I went into it because I was in a place where I was on the verge of complete emotional collapse. I had no clue what to expect and I wasn't hopeful going in. It was uncomfortable and awkward, and I hated all of it. I finally managed to "graduate" not fully understanding how much it had helped me, but then I took some steps back from it and gave it a good think, and realized what I had come away with was extremely valuable to my own sanity. She taught me mindfulness and she also made me understand that it wasn't me who was the issue, it was my work culture.

It's not for everyone, and it can be hard, especially finding a therapist who fits you. I went to one during an earlier (more serious) crisis, and she called me a "wimp" because I told her I was afraid of my husband. So yeah, they're not all helpful, but I think therapy saved my career as I was days away from having to resign because of the toxic, unbelievably stressful, sexist culture. 

More recently I have been seeing one because of a very traumatic event that happened over the summer. Turns out I didn't need her, I don't think. I just wanted to be sure. With our Zoom culture, finding one is much easier, and I strongly recommend just trying even if you aren't sure you want to see one. You have nothing to lose but your copay.

Wow, that's a great summary.  I feel much the same.  At the time I needed help, what I was feeling was so unfamiliar and unexpected that I had no idea what was going on.  My body and my mind were both reacting in ways I couldn't process.  My therapist helped me understand what was happening and why and once that became clear I found a way out of it, though the scars are still there.  It changed my life and I took up some very useful practices because of it.  So, I too, am quick to suggest others try it.  Unlike medical treatment, there are no real side effects that I know of unless you take medication.  I did take medication although I'm not sure how much it helped.  And you can always stop going if it's not much use.  The only obstacle I've seen is the cost (which can be steep) and the way society views therapy, which is better but still something that needs to improve.

[The Grand Nudger]

Looking back, I don't think that anything I ever got out of therapy mattered in the then-present. My life (inner and outer) was a flaming trainwreck and all the good council in the world couldn't change that. I had to put that out myself..and it was only later, many years later in some cases..that things addressed in that setting sunk in and became useful to me.

It didn't help me fix my first fucked up attempts at things - but it made me a hell of alot better at my second try.