Posts: 6
Threads: 2
Joined: May 21, 2023
Reputation:
0
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 21, 2023 at 11:19 pm
I often wonder.
The middle east is hot as the peverbial hell over there.
So, you know a mans scrotum gets sweatty and itchy in the heat. Therefore,,,,,,,,,,,,
If Jesus did exist and the crucifixion was real.
How'd he scratch his nuts or did someone do it for him and if so, who?
Where's that bible story?
More intrguing questions.
The church deifies everything christ relatted.
Where's the petrified Christ Pellets? (Fecal material for the less observant).
While we're at it. Surely there's nothing more holy than the afterbirth of the holier than holy child.
Which church has that item?
Did he use the same hand he wiped with to heal the blind?
Who was his barber? Because it plainly states in the bible. A man can't have long hair.
Did Jesus ever fart and if so, did it miraculously cure any asthmatics that happen to be close by?
Where he urinated (again, take a piss/pee/leak for the less observant), was it considered holy water?
Did he ever pick his nose or did he just blow it on the ground like everyone else? If he blew it on the ground, what happened at that spot?
If Jesus walked on water, did he give his mom fits at bathtime when he was a toddler?
Every teenage boy does certain things when he's alone. Did Jesus also when he was a teen? The bible does leave his teen years out for some reason. If so who did he fantasize about? How old was she? Was it even a she?
Posts: 17211
Threads: 462
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation:
30
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 22, 2023 at 1:07 am
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Posts: 12232
Threads: 125
Joined: January 11, 2010
Reputation:
45
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 23, 2023 at 3:57 am
Happy Day of Retribution!
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
Posts: 46424
Threads: 541
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 23, 2023 at 5:58 am
(This post was last modified: May 23, 2023 at 5:59 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
(May 21, 2023 at 11:19 pm)Sigiere Wrote: I often wonder.
The middle east is hot as the peverbial hell over there.
So, you know a mans scrotum gets sweatty and itchy in the heat. Therefore,,,,,,,,,,,,
If Jesus did exist and the crucifixion was real.
How'd he scratch his nuts or did someone do it for him and if so, who?
Where's that bible story?
More intrguing questions.
The church deifies everything christ relatted.
Where's the petrified Christ Pellets? (Fecal material for the less observant).
While we're at it. Surely there's nothing more holy than the afterbirth of the holier than holy child.
Which church has that item?
Did he use the same hand he wiped with to heal the blind?
Who was his barber? Because it plainly states in the bible. A man can't have long hair.
Did Jesus ever fart and if so, did it miraculously cure any asthmatics that happen to be close by?
Where he urinated (again, take a piss/pee/leak for the less observant), was it considered holy water?
Did he ever pick his nose or did he just blow it on the ground like everyone else? If he blew it on the ground, what happened at that spot?
If Jesus walked on water, did he give his mom fits at bathtime when he was a toddler?
Every teenage boy does certain things when he's alone. Did Jesus also when he was a teen? The bible does leave his teen years out for some reason. If so who did he fantasize about? How old was she? Was it even a she?
(Bold mine)
I'm fairly sure than when you've got iron pegs hammered into your wrists and ankles, a head full of thorns, and a spear wound in your side, itchy balls aren't exactly a priority.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 46424
Threads: 541
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 23, 2023 at 2:38 pm
![[Image: 48918635251_525c2dd132_b.jpg]](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48918635251_525c2dd132_b.jpg)
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35341
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 23, 2023 at 5:18 pm
Friend, "Beccs! Don't say that!"
Me, "'My bad' and 'I'm sorry' mean the same thing!"
Friend, "Not at a funeral!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 46424
Threads: 541
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 23, 2023 at 6:31 pm
(This post was last modified: May 23, 2023 at 6:32 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
![[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR0MbJCDFIYGdg29GzelWg...g&usqp=CAU]](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR0MbJCDFIYGdg29GzelWghPbIO8FW-NNOAhg&usqp=CAU)
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 17211
Threads: 462
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation:
30
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 25, 2023 at 12:16 am
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Posts: 17211
Threads: 462
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation:
30
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 25, 2023 at 1:15 pm
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Posts: 46424
Threads: 541
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
May 25, 2023 at 5:37 pm
![[Image: oGqrVkY_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium]](https://i.imgur.io/oGqrVkY_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
|
![[Image: wGVYR0Jz_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/da/c6/wGVYR0Jz_o.jpg)
![[Image: VgiSCFk2_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/32/ce/VgiSCFk2_o.jpg)
![[Image: a0TZBKeY_o.jpg]](https://images2.imgbox.com/5e/0e/a0TZBKeY_o.jpg)
