The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week, I'm finally putting this latest fit of the Deep Hurting Project to rest with 2001 Steven Segal film Ticker. It's a cliche-ridden action movie that consists largely of stock footage (more on this later). Though, at least it's not "needs a double just to get down a flight of stairs" Segal.

• The shootout at the fancy restaurant reminds me: I could be watching Freddy Got Fingered's fancy restaurant scene.
  
• Jesus fuck, Dennis Hopper, what are you doing here? 
  
• Why does that clock play the Third Westminster Quarter on the hour and not, you know, at the 45-minute mark?
  
• Was that bar in between two nitroglycerine factories? It shouldn't have been that bad that it blew up the entire city block. So, here's the thing about the stock footage. Nu Image Productions slashed the movie's budget to about $600,000, inserted all this stock footage, and denied director Albert Pyun any say in it. Apparently, his original director's commentary was just him laying into the studio for their malfeasance. Naturally, this isn't actually available in the streaming, which is a big part of why I prefer physical media. 
  
• Dude, if you're just going to make lines like this, why not just go full Frank Booth?
  
• Is Jamie Pressley actually trying in this movie? To see her act in this, you'd swear she thought she was actually in a good movie. And, given all the shitty movies she appeared in in 2001, the one where she played David Spade's fake sister is probably her best movie that year,
  
• Okay, I've never heard of Blues branded guitars, but now I'm intrigued.
  
• You don't want to end up like Duggar? Well, that's easy enough, just don't access CP. 
  
• Why the fuck does it sound like they got Loreena McKennitt to sing on the soundtrack?
  
• Okay, by this point, Dennis Hopper's accent is getting distracting. Sometimes he's coming close to a proper Irish brogue, sometimes he doesn't sound like he's trying for an accent, sometimes he sounds like Dr. Evil, and now he sounds like he's trying for Minnesota Nice. 
  
• So now this movie has a fucking plot 15 minutes before it ends? 
  
• Segal's partner is going to die and he's just doing this faux-Eastern shaman shit. 
  

[Nanny]

The Charge of the Light Brigade (1968) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Charge...1968_film)

A charmingly over-acted genre piece that heaps criticism on the ineptitude of the Lordly General, blind to both grand strategy and tactics, with rigid prejudice toward the lower classes, this film drags in parts (yes we get that Lord Cardigan is an oaf). Just when it starts to get insufferable, the film changes to vivid color Victorian cartoons appear to lighten the mood and drive the tempo. While we all know how it turns out for the 600 British cavaliers, the splicing of live action with cartoons adds the vinegar to the bite of the social commentary.

[Mister Agenda]

2073. It had a documentary/if this goes on vibe. About a future cinoised if fascist police states and how we wound up with that outcome.

[Fake Messiah]

Vivarium (2019)

It's one of those movies that has a scene of a woman sitting on a toilet.



I could never understand these scenes. What is the point? Is the director trying to evoke some sort of domestic atmosphere? Or is it a director's kink?

Anyway, the only intriguing thing about this movie is why it got made at all. Who green lit this? It's a childish look at the existential crisis considering that it involves aliens. It reminds me of Joey's terrible play in "Friends," where he is in a seemingly normal and domestic setting when a ladder appears from the sky, he says 'goodbye', and climbs into a spaceship.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The In-Laws  - the 1979 masterpiece, not the 2003 piece of crap. Peter Falk was a very funny guy.

Boru

[Fake Messiah]

J. Edgar (2011)

It is a good movie, but it is the ugliest looking movie I ever saw. My guess is that the director, Clint Eastwood, wanted to make a b&w movie but the studio refused it, so he made it look bleak.
The other thing is the lighting. The faces are constantly half lit or in the dark.

Here's for example Leo's face



It's like someone ate half of his face. He's like the phantom of the opera. It's like heads are the planets in the solar system and you can see the terminator line.

Here's Judy Dench's face unlit:

[Mister Agenda]

2073. It had a documentary/if this goes on vibe. About a future cinoised if fascist police states and how we wound up with that outcome.

I don't even remember what I was trying to say when I typed 'cinoised if'. Composed of?

[Angrboda]

[Sarah Copper]

When a veteran 911 operator takes a life-altering call from a teenage girl who has just been abducted, she realizes that she must confront a killer from her past in order to save the girl's life.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1911644/

One of the most intense movies I have seen in a long time.  A must see!

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Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Boru