Working on social skills this summer

[zentor]

This last year at the age of 23, I feel like I have woken up from a dream and been talking all my life without ever thinking.

And now when i conversate - i see some of the awkard things i say - but when i say them, i dont get any flags in my brain - and it seems normal and i dont notice til after i say it.

ie: in my game i joined a "RP" guild, and was talking with the leader. and was saying how my old guild was always putting down people who were of "lower rank in guild" and stuff. Then i realised this was another RP guild - and went by the same rules of rank system...and i was like, ugh g2g.

And if im like talking to a girl, ill just talk, but when i look back at the texts i am so hyper, like messages full of LOL and !!!!

and i come off so strong and desperate - it sucks.

I love talking to people, but I always say the wrong thing. ie: ill be talking to a christian, and ill say something that they dont support, and then realise it AFTER i say it....can yall understand where i am coming from and what i am trying to say?

[Napoléon]

You sound pretty desperate...

Lol jk, I totally know what you mean sistah.

[Annik]

I usually just don't say anything at all, but I understand the pressures very well.

[kılıç_mehmet]

RPG guild? I don't know why anyone would require a guild for that. We just get together with friends.

[Kayenneh]

I understand you Zentor.
I have no desire to filter what I say, so the first thing that pops into my head, I say out loud. People who know me think it's funny and adorable that I'm straightforward and people who don't know me think it's rudeness and insolence. I've gotten better on being diplomatic, but I find that it takes away from my personality.
But don't worry, you can train yourself to think a couple of seconds and maybe rephrase something that you were about to say or write. It just takes patience and a lot of practice.

[The Grand Nudger]

"Too many unstable words are spoken
by him who ne'er holds his peace;
the hasty tongue sings its own mishap
if it be not bridled in."

[Napoléon]

People who know me think it's funny and adorable

Toot your own trumpet Kay

[Kayenneh]

Toot your own trumpet Kay

Hey! No tooting, out of 7 billion people, there is bound to be a few (albeit, they're not abundant ) who actually like me, despite my lack of rhetorical prowess ! And I wouldn't know of this, if they hadn't told me
I just wanted to prove to Zentor that you can be the socially awkward penguin and still be liked.

[zentor]

Kayenne I am the same way. People like me when they get to know me
But when I meet new people their like "with is wrong with him?"

And girls think I'm "the funniest guy ever and am perfect - for anyone else."

I agree, been working on changing and feel like I'm totally killing
Off my old personality. But seeing how Im not happy with my
Old self I don't mind. (Even I think I'm a dweeb sometimes.)
I think it's kinda sad that we have to conform so much to be accepted.
Guess that's just life.
But I think people are more friendly irl. In my online games, they will
Troll people just for simple spelling errors. I like to relax on
The computer, not proofread every message.
And whats with the people that try to be superior by ending every
Message with a "." ?

Like "Oh, hi Zentor."
"I'll be right back."
"Ok."
And when they srs - ya get the dreaded single k with the period
"k."

And most these guys are like high school kids that say they're 20+.

Please stop trying to look so smart online. Your
proper spelling isn't fooling anyone

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Two' secrets'

Actually listen to the other person. There is a skill you can learn called 'active listening'.

Ask open questions eg: "what do you think about --" and DON'T interupt! Show an interests in the person and get him/her to talk about THEIR interest and THEIR life.

Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to feed back what he hears to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what he has heard in his own words, to confirm what he has heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties. The ability to listen actively demonstrates sincerity, and that nothing is being assumed or taken for granted. Active listening is most often used to improve personal relationships, reduce misunderstanding and conflicts, strengthen cooperation, and foster understanding. It is proactive, accountable and professional.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening