Grant My Wish #2

[Erinome]

Granted, but your balls are unaffected by your weightlessness.

I wish I was Johnny Depp's lover.

[Erfalion]

Granted, but he's impotent.

I wish my PC wasn't such a piece of shit. >>

[Cinjin]

I wish my PC wasn't such a piece of shit. >>

Granted. You now have the world's largest paper weight and you get to start using postal mail instead of emails.


I wish I was the King of England.

[Tempus]

Granted. Now you have to have sex with the Queen of England.

I wish I had pizza.

[Creed of Heresy]

Granted. Now you have to have sex with the Queen of England.

I wish I had pizza.

Granted, but it has pineapple on it. AND anchovies. The pizza boy also is tweaking on crystal meth.

I wish I had a hundred million dollars.

[Jackalope]

Granted. Unfortunately it's monopoly money.

I wish I was napping instead of working.

[Autumnlicious]

Granted. Your job is to now nap.

The horrible combination of not wanting to work in favor of napping conflicts with your napping being work!

Unable to resolve such a paradox, you begin to smother yourself in pillows, ever trying to extinguish a pain that cannot be salved, the pain of contradiction.

I wish I had a million ducks.

[frankiej]

Granted, but they all want to eat you.

I wish I could control the weather.

[Jackalope]

Granted. You know what comes with a million ducks? Several hundred metric asstons of duck shit. Enjoy.

I wish you luck with those ducks.

[Annik]

Granted, but now all the ducks are getting lucky with him, lol.

I wish I had enough money for my wedding.