Mark 16:17-18 - The Words of Jesus?

[max-greece]

"Blessed are the cheesemakers? What's so special about them?"
"Oh he means the whole dairy industry."

LoB - best comedy movie ever made.

[Minimalist]

"Blessed are the cheesemakers? What's so special about them?"
"Oh he means the whole dairy industry."

LoB - best comedy movie ever made.

Right. A/S/K!






Fuck you, Drippy!

[Doubting Thomas]

"We must gather shoes!"
"No, follow the gourd!"

And the best line ever from that movie:

"Now FUCK OFF!"
"How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?"

[Cyberman]

My personal favourite (apparently an ad lib from an extra that got him bumped up to a speaking part's pay):

"You're all individuals!"
"Yes, we are all individuals!"
"I'm not..!"

[Godscreated]

Mark 16:17-19

"17)And these signs will accompany those who
believe: In my name they will drive out demons;
they will speak in new tongues; 18)they will pick
op snakes with their hands; and when they
drink deadly poison, it will not harm them at
all; they will place their hands on sick people,
and they will get well."

---

Jesus supposedly spoke these words to his
disciples following his resurrection. He was
rebuking them because most of them did not
believe the reports of his resurrection which
had been made by Mary Magdalene and others.
He was telling them that their faith should
produce supernatural abilities within them,
and that the measure of their faith was made
by whether or not these signs accompanied
the disciples. The meat of Jesus' message here
was to deny what you can prove or substantiate,
and to have a faith so strong that you could
literally do things that are impossible in the natural
world - like believing that a man was born of a virgin,
died, and was resurrected. Jesus' message here
is to suspend disbelief. He then goes further by
suggesting that if you can think this way that no
harm could come to you. So, what is the effect
of this in today's world? Besides the "snake cult"
christians who practice mumbo-jumbo religion,
this teaching has brought some real consequences
to bear. Allow me to share...

---

________________________________________________

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I used to go hiking with my friend Jack in the hills
near where we live. Jack is an elder at a church I
used to attend when I was a christian. I say I used
to hike with Jack because we no longer hike together.
Jack and I developed a pretty good friendship while
I was at the church, and he and I do still continue to
meet for coffee ect. (though less and less as time
moves on). Recently, on our latest hike together, Jack
and I came across a Western Diamondback Rattlesnake.
These snakes are poisonous and very aggressive.
Jack walked closer to the rattler as I moved away
from the deadly snake. I told Jack to be careful, and that
I didn't think I could carry him to the car if he were bitten.
Jack didn't miss a beat as he said... "I'm not afraid of
this snake. My bible, my god, has told me in his word
that I shall take up deadly serpents and I will not be
harmed. I believe Jesus." I asked Jack what I should
do if he gets bitten - if I should get help? He said that
if I lacked the faith to believe god's word that he didn't
want to go hiking with me ever again, because his
faith was strong, and he didn't want to be tempted
by my weakness. I was dumbfounded. Jack and I
have not hiked together since that time.

---

__________________________________________________

I wonder if I offered Jack some "deadly poison" to drink
if he'd do it? I know Jack takes prescription medication -
how does this work with faith? For sure, Jack has not
healed every person he's laid his hands on (indeed none).
How do christians reconcile these inconsistencies in their "faith"?

You should ask him if he would drink the poison, since you still talk to him why haven't you? Jack takes medication because he has faith that God gave the doctors the intelligence to understand the knowledge that would help him with medication.


GC

[Tonus]

I know Jack takes prescription medication - how does this work with faith?

Just add a dash of rationalization and you're good!

[max-greece]

"We must gather shoes!"
"No, follow the gourd!"

And the best line ever from that movie:

"Now FUCK OFF!"
"How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?"

Actually the best line from the film is also one of the hardest to hear. When Brian falls off the tower and gets caught up in the space battle, finally crashing into the base of the tower and walking out without a scratch on him the guy standing nearby says:

"You lucky bastard."

That and the line from Brian's mum:

"What are you doing with that Welsh tart?"

[Cyberman]

Jack takes medication because he has faith that God gave the doctors the intelligence to understand the knowledge that would help him with medication.

I know quite a few doctors who wouldn't thank you (to put it mildly) for giving "God" the credit for all their years of hard work and dedication.

It's like the old joke: a vicar walks past a house where a man is tending to a beautiful garden. He stops and says to the man, "Look at all the bounteous wonder that God has granted you. The Lord truly is the perfect gardener."

"That's as maybe," says the man, "but you ought to have seen the state of this place when he had to do it all by himself."

[Minimalist]

Leave it to G-C to always go out his way to make an ass of himself.

[Doubting Thomas]

Because God healed the guy even though the doctors and medicine helped.

Same thing happens with cancer patients, for example. They pray and pray and pray all the while receiving chemo & other medical treatment, and when they're free of cancer the prayer gets all the credit.