mormon ==> atheist

[azheathen]

Hello, Godless Heathens.

I was born and raised Mormon, coming from a long line of Mormons.

Was mostly against LGBTetc stuff, but in December 2010 met a trans* gal online who forced me to think and critically analyze why I thought the way I did. I eventually came around and became OK with all that.

A few months later, in January 2012, my parents (I was in my mid 20's, living at home at the time) went through the laptop I paid for and discovered I had transsexual friends. They gave me so much shit over it. Moved out a month later and eventually in with other Mormon college aged kids.

Battled depression in the spring...wrote this for an exmormon audience last summer.

Hi all. I'm a pretty new exmo here. I'm in my mid 20s, grew up in the Church, come from several generations of Mormons, etc.
The judgemental "holier than thou" attitude many Mormons have has always bothered me, as has the odd double standard here and there. I went through the temple about a year and a half ago for my endowments and was dismayed by how women were treated as 2nd class citizens and realized that was the case in more than just in the temple. Though that made me somewhat uneasy, I still remained a "faithful, active, righteous" Mormon, until early this year.
Certain family conflict happened earlier this year (that's actually still ongoing) that made me much more aware how badly LGBTetc folks were/are treated by the LDS church) , and after attempting unsuccessfully to resolve it on my own, went to Church leaders who didn't take me seriously. Throughout the course of this...situation, I have tried to stay in touch and seek help from various ward members...again unsuccessful for the most part. The people who have stuck with me through all these hard times are nearly all LGBT, who the church (and my family) actively poohs on. Supportive LGBT people vs. unresponsive Mormons? I think I'll go with supportive LGBT people, thank you much.
Vaguely related to the LGBTetc issue, I also am not a huge fan of how people who don't fit into the "get married young and start popping out babies" model are treated.
It's only been in the last few weeks that I've I solidified my decision to identify myself as exmo. With the exception of one trans* friend, I haven't told anybody that's an active Mormon this yet, much less my parents and family. It will be one ugly conversation, one that I'm most certainly not looking forward to. I suspect there's a good chance I will lose my family, but with the way my dad's been acting lately I wouldn't be sad to lose him. I have many nevermo friends who are aware of everything thats been going on and they have been nothing but amazingly supportive.

I have since realized that the depression I battled in Spring 2012 was likely from the stress/trauma coming from a then-unrealized shattered world view that often accompanies leaving the Mormon church.

The last 2 years have been the worst 2 years of my life, but I have gone through so much self discovery as well. I've made much internal progress since then. Overall I am happier and more comfortable in my own skin.

In the last half year I finally worked up the moxy to both come out to my parents/siblings as exmormon and formally resign from the cult. I was sick of pretending to be Mormon around them, and feel fucking liberated that I am officially out!

I have still got a lot of work ahead of me both in terms of personal recovery and family relations, but hey, I've only been out a year and a half. Things have improved greatly so far, and I trust it will gradually get even better.

May the FSM bless you all with his noodly appendages.

edit: So. How am I atheist? I now believe the Book of Mormon is a pilea shit, so how can I trust the bible? If Mormon Jesus let me down so badly, there must not be any other god or higher being either. The same thinking I now critically apply to all the other religions. I wish I could believe in a god, but Mormonism fucked it all up for me. Still having a hard time with the thought that there is no life after death, trying to figure out the point of life post-religion, etc. I'm sure you know the drill there. Not having all the answers anymore is really painful and scary at times.

[Raeven]

Welcome, azheathen. You'll get lots of good support from here, I think. I grew up in SLC as a non-Mormon, so I have some idea of what you're going through. As for your dad, I recently met a father and son duo who were ex-Mormons. The son gave up on the religion first, and then Dad ended up following his lead -- although it took some time. Your outcome may not be as lucky, but hey -- you never know! It does happen. (They were so cute together. )

Kudos to you for standing up for the equal rights and protections of the LGBT community. Against the tide upon which you were flinging yourself, that's an exceptional accomplishment -- especially for one so young. Well done, you!

Have you read Sam Harris's The End of Faith: Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason? It's a good little read, and somehow, I think it will only strengthen your resolve.

Again, welcome to you!

[theyear12013]

hey there buddy, its tough to stand up for the rights of all human beings in the face of all of many of our traditional upbringings. Kudos to you.

This forum can get a little rowdy. When you are depressed the science says you see the world more accurately than non-depressed people. So don't lose the clarity you have now.

And if you are looking for a constellation of 'prophets' to replace the ones you left behind, you only have to look to the founders of the United States, secular, deist but most definitely not bible-thumping Christians or any other Godly religion. Refutations of "Christian Nation" in quotes from Founding Fathers
http://www.democraticunderground.com/dis...103x340428

And if you are looking for fellowship, the strong community you once had ... check out Unitarians -- they are basically creedless now -- used to be believers in one God without Jesus being the son of God. But its been a home I suspect for many famous atheists before they could say it: http://www.uuflg.org/famous.html . There are some small Unitarian churches here and there across the US still.

[Minimalist]

Welcome. I'm in Arizona, too, but I always thought mormons were assholes....along with all other theists.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

Hi welcome!

For things like life after death, what it really takes is a different perspective.

“Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. ”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

You haven't lost life after death, you never had that to begin with, you were just lied to. But this life, now you don't have to live this one as a mormon and you can be who you want to be.

[theyear12013]

In the end though -- there is a much more epic story out there than the one you or any other religious person has been raised on ... its unfolded across the planet over 500,000 years of homo sapien existence. Its continued now for 10,000 years of farming and civilization. And it hasn't ended. It is a lot scarier and more amazing without the Abrahamic religions and their certainty. But it gives human beings in my opinion much more reason to be proud to have survived this long and achieved what we have achieved so far.

[c172]

Welcome, Zonie. I used to attend high school near PHX/Scottsdale. I'll read your intro more when I have time.

[azheathen]

As for your dad, I recently met a father and son duo who were ex-Mormons. The son gave up on the religion first, and then Dad ended up following his lead -- although it took some time. Your outcome may not be as lucky, but hey -- you never know! It does happen. (They were so cute together. )

It's a not so secret dream of mine that one of them comes out of the Morg after me. They seem to be in pretty deep though. Good little Mormons...passive aggressive behavior is their game! And my dad is...uh. Asshole? Really controlling? Patriarchial? Self righteous, judgemental, etc. His relationship with each of his 4 kids has not been the best in the past. Might have been the worst with me. I've always been the least Mormon in my fam...lol. Look at me now. I have barely talked to him since moving out. He has consistently put the Mormon Church above his relationship with his own daughter. I'm tired of offering am olive branch if all he does is piss on it. For now, I'm fucking done trying.

Kudos to you for standing up for the equal rights and protections of the LGBT community. Against the tide upon which you were flinging yourself, that's an exceptional accomplishment -- especially for one so young. Well done, you!

I've realized I'm not heterosexual like I thought I was...so now it feels more personal. I've been dating a trans woman for over a year now. Her support was invaluable last spring, and it pisses me the hell off when people shit on trans* ppl. If my family can't handle this information, I'm going to have to write them off. I can't really say I'm willing, cause it will fucking hurt, but I'll do it if i have to.

Have you read Sam Harris's The End of Faith: Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason? It's a good little read, and somehow, I think it will only strengthen your resolve.

Haven't read any atheist stuff yet. I'll see if I can find the title at the library or something.

hey there buddy, its tough to stand up for the rights of all human beings in the face of all of many of our traditional upbringings. Kudos to you.

Haha yeah. Leaving the cult is the hardest thing I have ever done. And the ride isn't over yet.

This forum can get a little rowdy. When you are depressed the science says you see the world more accurately than non-depressed people. So don't lose the clarity you have now.

I think depression has been gone for a while now. Yay for that!

I'll check out your URL tomorrow morning.

And if you are looking for fellowship, the strong community you once had ... check out Unitarians[/quote]Other exmos from /r/exmormon have endorsed it so I went last spring. They seem like an cool and open minded bunch. I go off and on...there's even other exmormons in the congregation I go to.

Welcome. I'm in Arizona, too, but I always thought mormons were assholes....along with all other theists.

Theists are cool if they don't try to jam their views down your throat. My lady lover is nondenominal Christian and she is very understanding and respectful of my experiences/views.

@pineapplebunnybounce-LOL cute username. I'm workin' on the perspective part...hoping that this board can help a bit there. I like the quote. Still trying to figure out who I am in lots of areas of my life.

[-z-]

Not having all the answers anymore is really painful and scary at times.

Would you rather not have all the answers and feel somewhat scared about that, or be comfortable with all the answers that just happen to be wrong? I guess you've already answered that for yourself.

I have lived in AZ, traveled through UT, and know mormons where I live now. I agree it's a cult, and when you come from generations of cult members it can be very scary to leave that security and embrace the real world. It sounds like you have some great support. I know there are online groups for exmo support, and I hope you find some here as well.

[Fruity]

Welcome! I'm from AZ, too.