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Wow, your journey hasn't been an easy one, but kudos for taking a stand!
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
One thing you'll find in your discussions here (and I hope to see you partaking in many of them!) is that through discussion and discourse with other atheists, your fears about death will become eased. Knowledge will fill in the gaps that god once filled. You'll find it hard to fear death when there's so much knowledge to learn. Your only regret will probably become that you'll never be able to learn it all as opposed to the fact you will inevitably die.
And hey, science going at the pace it does, who knows! Maybe they'll cure death soon.
(January 3, 2014 at 1:29 am)azheathen Wrote: Still having a hard time with the thought that there is no life after death.
This is something that doesn't scare me like it did when I was a kid, but it still bums me out in a way. I like it here on earth. Especially in America.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
Wow. When I started reading your post, at first I started to think it had been written by my boyfriend. Your story is startingly similar to his. He comes from a Mormon background, too, and he's been terrified of how they're going to react to our less-than-straight "lifestyle."
He wanted me to ask if you're from Utah? I'm asking because we live in Texas and the Mormons here are generally a lot nicer, but I've heard that when you're in Utah they tend to get really holier than thou.
"If you cling to something as the absolute truth and you are caught in it, when the truth comes in person to knock on your door you will refuse to let it in." ~ Siddhartha Gautama
January 4, 2014 at 4:59 am (This post was last modified: January 4, 2014 at 5:00 am by Aractus.)
(January 3, 2014 at 1:29 am)azheathen Wrote:
Hello, Godless Heathens.
I was born and raised Mormon, coming from a long line of Mormons.
Was mostly against LGBTetc stuff, but in December 2010 met a trans* gal online who forced me to think and critically analyze why I thought the way I did. I eventually came around and became OK with all that.
A few months later, in January 2012, my parents (I was in my mid 20's, living at home at the time) went through the laptop I paid for and discovered I had transsexual friends. They gave me so much shit over it. Moved out a month later and eventually in with other Mormon college aged kids.
Battled depression in the spring...wrote this for an exmormon audience last summer.
Quote:Hi all. I'm a pretty new exmo here. I'm in my mid 20s, grew up in the Church, come from several generations of Mormons, etc.
The judgemental "holier than thou" attitude many Mormons have has always bothered me, as has the odd double standard here and there. I went through the temple about a year and a half ago for my endowments and was dismayed by how women were treated as 2nd class citizens and realized that was the case in more than just in the temple. Though that made me somewhat uneasy, I still remained a "faithful, active, righteous" Mormon, until early this year.
Certain family conflict happened earlier this year (that's actually still ongoing) that made me much more aware how badly LGBTetc folks were/are treated by the LDS church) , and after attempting unsuccessfully to resolve it on my own, went to Church leaders who didn't take me seriously. Throughout the course of this...situation, I have tried to stay in touch and seek help from various ward members...again unsuccessful for the most part. The people who have stuck with me through all these hard times are nearly all LGBT, who the church (and my family) actively poohs on. Supportive LGBT people vs. unresponsive Mormons? I think I'll go with supportive LGBT people, thank you much.
Vaguely related to the LGBTetc issue, I also am not a huge fan of how people who don't fit into the "get married young and start popping out babies" model are treated.
It's only been in the last few weeks that I've I solidified my decision to identify myself as exmo. With the exception of one trans* friend, I haven't told anybody that's an active Mormon this yet, much less my parents and family. It will be one ugly conversation, one that I'm most certainly not looking forward to. I suspect there's a good chance I will lose my family, but with the way my dad's been acting lately I wouldn't be sad to lose him. I have many nevermo friends who are aware of everything thats been going on and they have been nothing but amazingly supportive.
I have since realized that the depression I battled in Spring 2012 was likely from the stress/trauma coming from a then-unrealized shattered world view that often accompanies leaving the Mormon church.
The last 2 years have been the worst 2 years of my life, but I have gone through so much self discovery as well. I've made much internal progress since then. Overall I am happier and more comfortable in my own skin.
In the last half year I finally worked up the moxy to both come out to my parents/siblings as exmormon and formally resign from the cult. I was sick of pretending to be Mormon around them, and feel fucking liberated that I am officially out!
I have still got a lot of work ahead of me both in terms of personal recovery and family relations, but hey, I've only been out a year and a half. Things have improved greatly so far, and I trust it will gradually get even better.
May the FSM bless you all with his noodly appendages.
edit: So. How am I atheist? I now believe the Book of Mormon is a pilea shit, so how can I trust the bible? If Mormon Jesus let me down so badly, there must not be any other god or higher being either. The same thinking I now critically apply to all the other religions. I wish I could believe in a god, but Mormonism fucked it all up for me. Still having a hard time with the thought that there is no life after death, trying to figure out the point of life post-religion, etc. I'm sure you know the drill there. Not having all the answers anymore is really painful and scary at times.
As an Anglican I'd like to let you know that our Church is most certainly not like that (as in the "holier than thou bullshit"). The RCC I think has that attitude, and it's always bothered me. It's inward looking, not outward looking. Sot with that said, what the Anglican Church does for the community we do without any discrimination, and we do more charitable work (in Australia) than any other denomination including the RCC, the Salvation Army Church, etc.
Thanks for sharing your story.
For Religion & Health see:[/b][/size] Williams & Sternthal. (2007). Spirituality, religion and health: Evidence and research directions. Med. J. Aust., 186(10), S47-S50.-LINK
The WIN/Gallup End of Year Survey 2013 found the US was perceived to be the greatest threat to world peace by a huge margin, with 24% of respondents fearful of the US followed by: 8% for Pakistan, and 6% for China. This was followed by 5% each for: Afghanistan, Iran, Israel, North Korea.-LINK
"That's disgusting. There were clean athletes out there that have had their whole careers ruined by people like Lance Armstrong who just bended thoughts to fit their circumstances. He didn't look up cheating because he wanted to stop, he wanted to justify what he was doing and to keep that continuing on." - Nicole Cooke
Enjoy the forums.
