Bad Movies Unlimited

[StealthySkeptic]

Are you one of those people who gets sick, sick enjoyment from watching and laughing at movies that fell out of the bottom of the barrel? Then you're in luck- I like them too! I've watched everything from The Room to Jaws 3D, and I invite you to join me on a quest to find movies that could make those look like masterpieces.

I'd given up on finding movies so bad they went back around and punched good in the vagina, but then I stumbled upon the Cave of Wonders for crappy movies:



You can get in on all the cheesy awfulness you want if you have a Sony Blu-ray player, BRAVIA TV, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, or other Sony device, and rent each movie that I see (under the "Deals" section) for $0.99 to see it for yourself. But if you prefer to keep your sanity, I'll do a review of one that I rent each week for you. My first one is:



"The Blood Sisters have left hell and they are here to take over the world, one woman at a time. There is only one man who can stop them. He is Johnny Blake and he has taken on the guise of a monk in order to save the world from these demonic lesbian temptresses." (Somebody was paid to write this synopsis)

I may actually lose IQ because of this movie. *Sigh* Well, if there was ever a time to try weed to get through something bad, tomorrow might be it.

[Crossless2.0]

I'd like to see your review of Manos the Hands of Fate. I watched that with my son a few years ago (he's another fan of craptacular films), and we laughed ourselves sick.

[StealthySkeptic]

I'd like to see your review of Manos the Hands of Fate. I watched that with my son a few years ago (he's another fan of craptacular films), and we laughed ourselves sick.

Found it here: http://youtu.be/wHhSS3r4OrQ. I first saw it on MST3K and laughed until I cried, but I can't wait to revisit it after Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin. XD

[LostLocke]

I first saw it on MST3K and laughed until I cried, but I can't wait to revisit it after Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin. XD

Manos was one of the best MST3K riffs, ever.

Torgo's theme still spontaneously pops into my brain every now and again.

[StealthySkeptic]

I first saw it on MST3K and laughed until I cried, but I can't wait to revisit it after Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin. XD

Manos was one of the best MST3K riffs, ever.

Torgo's theme still spontaneously pops into my brain every now and again.

Oh, man, I can barely remember it. Like I said, I feel I have to suffer through Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin first to get that rental off of my PlayStation account like a mosquito bite, but perhaps I may decide to do Manos first. XD

[DeistPaladin]

Damn, I was going to start this thread and call it "Good Bad Movies", the kind that you like to watch with friends who join you in heckling the hell out of them.

My most memorable experience is Deep Blue Sea.

Plot: Genius sharks are bread as part of a science experiment to cure Alzheimer's. They're kept at an old Pacific WW2 refueling station. Really? And here I thought we had an "island hoping" strategy during WW2, but apparently we constructed massive bases in the middle of the ocean out of Titanium walls that extend all the way to the ocean floor. OK, I guess I stand corrected then. In our circle we had a former navy sailor, so seeing his reaction only added to the fun.

But I digress. So at this Pacific "refueling" base with it's Titanium fence that goes all the way to the ocean floor, they breed these genius sharks who figure out how to pummel their way in, through the Titanium walls, to feast on the crew. Um, yeah. Sure.

And why weren't they conducting this research at an aquarium again? Instead of going to the ruinously expensive route of refurbishing a 60 year old unlikely station out in the middle of nowhere Pacific? Oh, so they could be far away from help. Right.

Anyway, help arrives when a helicopter pulls one of the bodies up on a stretcher to med-evac one survivor. I don't remember how but the stretcher ended up in the water as the helicopter was lifting him out.

Me: "The sharks are going to pull the helicopter into the sea."

Everyone else: "No fucking way." "Even these filmmakers wouldn't go that far." "Too ridiculous."

Me: "I'm telling you, the sharks are going to pull the helicopter into the sea."

**Sharks not only pull the helicopter but pull the chord through the docks (!), tearing up the docks and then crash the helicopter into the control tower.**

Me: "I RULE!"

[StealthySkeptic]

Damn, I was going to start this thread and call it "Good Bad Movies", the kind that you like to watch with friends who join you in heckling the hell out of them.

My most memorable experience is Deep Blue Sea.

Plot: Genius sharks are bread as part of a science experiment to cure Alzheimer's. They're kept at an old Pacific WW2 refueling station. Really? And here I thought we had an "island hoping" strategy during WW2, but apparently we constructed massive bases in the middle of the ocean out of Titanium walls that extend all the way to the ocean floor. OK, I guess I stand corrected then. In our circle we had a former navy sailor, so seeing his reaction only added to the fun.

But I digress. So at this Pacific "refueling" base with it's Titanium fence that goes all the way to the ocean floor, they breed these genius sharks who figure out how to pummel their way in, through the Titanium walls, to feast on the crew. Um, yeah. Sure.

And why weren't they conducting this research at an aquarium again? Instead of going to the ruinously expensive route of refurbishing a 60 year old unlikely station out in the middle of nowhere Pacific? Oh, so they could be far away from help. Right.

Anyway, help arrives when a helicopter pulls one of the bodies up on a stretcher to med-evac one survivor. I don't remember how but the stretcher ended up in the water as the helicopter was lifting him out.

Me: "The sharks are going to pull the helicopter into the sea."

Everyone else: "No fucking way." "Even these filmmakers wouldn't go that far." "Too ridiculous."

Me: "I'm telling you, the sharks are going to pull the helicopter into the sea."

**Sharks not only pull the helicopter but pull the chord through the docks (!), tearing up the docks and then crash the helicopter into the control tower.**

Me: "I RULE!"

We should team up to take on Manos The Hand of Fate or another bad movie, maybe over Skype chat. I remember watching Deep Blue Sea, and even though it was years ago I was going "Yup" for every sentence of your review.

[Crossless2.0]

Another review suggestion: Glen or Glenda, a film so bad that Ed Wood's other movies -- e.g., Plan 9 From Outer Space -- seem accomplished by comparison.

[StealthySkeptic]

Another review suggestion: Glen or Glenda, a film so bad that Ed Wood's other movies -- e.g., Plan 9 From Outer Space -- seem accomplished by comparison.

Oh man, I love Plan 9 From Outer Space! That's just one of the all time best bad movies ever, so that's a high compliment for Glen or Glenda. XD

[Minimalist]