Need some help

[DIRTY_DEEDS_93]

My name is Drew, I'm 15, and I need help figuring out what I am. I don't believe in God, but I'm not anti-god. According to the definition of atheism ("The lack of a belief in a god") I would be defined as an atheist right? I don't believe there is a heaven or hell. I believe in ghosts and that you stay on earth when you die. So would I be classified as an atheist? Also, on a side note, my mom has been harassing me to go to church on Christmas (my family is Christian) and she guilt trips me about it constantly, what should I say to make her stop? Also I'm sorry if any terms I used are not correct, I've researched atheism a lot but I've never talked to anybody about it so I wouldn't know what is appropriate or not.

[robvalue]

Hello Drew, welcome to the forum

Yes, from what you say, you are an atheist. It's just someone who doesn't believe in god (or claims that gods exist). It doesn't mean you have to also claim that there are no gods for definite. Belief in other stuff such as ghosts doesn't alter this, and you don't have to be anti-religion.

Sorry to hear your mum is hassling you, that's not right. It's hard to know exactly what to recommend, but maybe something about you being old enough to make these decisions for yourself? Or if you feel you can tell her you don't believe any more, you could explain that it's no longer appropriate or meaningful for you.

Do you feel she would be receptive to you talking about how you don't believe?

[Lucanus]

Welcome! Why are all of you newbs posting on the suggestion subforum instead of the introduction forums today? lol


Anyway, if you don't believe in any deity then you're an atheist. Accessory claims don't count. Believing in ghosts and in an afterlife is not exactly logical, but strictly speaking, if you lack a god belief you are still an atheist.

About your mother, just tell her to leave you alone and that you prefer doing your own research about religion and spirituality and you might come back some time. It worked for me

[DIRTY_DEEDS_93]

Ok thanks! Sorry about not posting on the intro board, didn't notice there was one. And my mom knows what I believe and she says "you wouldn't be coming because of what you believe it's because I want to be with my family" even though I still participate in Christmas dinner and gift exchanges. My mom is really the only person in my family that knows my beliefs. She made me pray on thanksgiving, it made me feel very disrespect when she did that. She says I never care about her feeling when I refuse to go to church, when she knows why I refuse. It's very frustrating. Sorry about rambling on about it but I just wanted to get that off my chest.

[Aoi Magi]

"Oh you believe in ghosts? the supernatural? Then you are not one of us!"

Did you really think we'd say something like that? Your stance is that of an agnostic atheist, as long as you can doubt the existence of any deity. If you don't believe in one, that's even better.

But, if you ask "what I am", I'd say you are a human, really, atheism is a position against a particular claim, it has nothing to do with your identity, and it doesn't define a person. Think of it as an abbreviated word for saying "I won't buy your BS without proof".

[DIRTY_DEEDS_93]

That's exactly right, the reason I don't believe is because I see absolutely no proof. And the reason I ask what am I is because I want to know what group I belong to, I want people I can talk to about it. My family is so judgmental I could never say anything about it to them. Thanks for being welcoming guys!

[Jenny A]

I think of myself more as a skeptic than an atheist, and you certainly are not a skeptic if you believe in ghosts. But you do fit the definition of atheist.

About church. . . It won't hurt you as long as you apply your reason to what you see and hear. Make your mom happy and enjoy what can be enjoyed and ignore the rest. The problem with being a child or teen, is that you are neither independent nor free. But you will grow up and be both. In the meantime I advise diplomacy. It's a useful skill that will stand you in good stead in adulthood.

[pocaracas]

Hmm... Welcome, welcome.
You sound almost Buddhist! :p

[professor]

Good advise from Jenny.
Are you getting different forms of support from Mom and family?
Think about it.
She means well, smile and be nice.
When you are paying the bills you will be in more of a position to have an opposing stance to your participation in what you want to avoid.
And welcome to AF.

[Tonus]

My name is Drew, I'm 15, and I need help figuring out what I am.

For starters, you're a 15-year-old named Drew.

But seriously, what you describe would be an atheist, though I don't know how to categorize your belief in ghosts and other such phenomena. As for your mother's demands/requests, you're under 18 and thus you're her responsibility and I would just go along with it. Once you are old enough to make your own decisions and go your own way, you are free to skip the church visits. But in time you might find that your efforts in keeping the peace are worthwhile. But always remember: people will use guilt to make you feel bad about following your own path, and that's not fair. If they won't respect your beliefs, then their hurt feelings are NOT YOUR FAULT.

I probably sound like a broken record, but it bugs the shit out of me when people act as if their beliefs make it okay to be disrespectful while insisting that you must respect their beliefs. That is religious indoctrination at work, and it's a terrible thing to do to a person. Reject it. If they can't show you respect, they'd better not expect any back.