JHC's In depth review of Fifty Shades of Grey

[JesusHChrist]

It sucked; and not in a good way.

The end.

[CapnAwesome]

One of the funniest things about the reaction to 50 shades of Grey (the book, no interest in movie) is the idea that it's somehow super edgy or something. I selectively read a few sex scenes and thought it was pretty vanilla.

[Exian]

Did you base this on the beaver shot scale?

[Minimalist]

But evangelical fuckheads hate it. It must have some redeeming qualities.

[CapnAwesome]

But evangelical fuckheads hate it. It must have some redeeming qualities.

They hate radical Muslims also, and they don't have any redeeming qualities.

[FreeTony]

I watched the film. It was actually quite boring, and despite not having read the book, it was obvious from the film that written by a moron ( apparently she insisted on not doing the changes to dialogue/plot that the director wanted).

I had hoped it would be funny in a so bad it's good way, but I only laughed a couple of times.

The sex scenes were dull.

[Esquilax]

I won't be seeing this movie, possibly until I can pirate it and hate watch without paying for it. I have numerous moral, critical and kink objections to this series that prevents me from giving money to it. But I can't imagine that anyone could make that story end up good, and the reviews so far seem to bear that out.

If anyone wants a real kinky book to read, I've got one available on Amazon...

[JesusHChrist]

I suppose I should have clarified, my review was for the movie, not the book. Didn't read it. Ain't gonna after seeing the movie.

My GF and I wanted to see it on Valentines Day (Ok, she wanted to see it, but I was game), so we did. Went to a nice theater where you can order drinks and food. The audience was mostly uncomfortably silent, other than the occasional outburst of laughter at not funny parts. Yeah, good stuff.

The movie's biggest sin was, as others have said: it was not hot and it was boring. No chemistry between the actors and extremely dumb dialogue.

But, all that being said, my GF and I are still getting mileage out of making fun of the movie, so, it was money sorta well-spent-ish in that sense. I tease her now about my deserving punishments and so on. And "I want you in the play room! 15 minutes!". We work with what we gots.

It's not the worst movie of all time - there is Plan 9 from Outer Space, Santa Claus vs. the Martians and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes to contend with - but it's a right up there for a big budget feature. I'd probably still give the nod to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. That was a true stinker. Stinky, stinky britches!

[downbeatplumb]

One of the funniest things about the reaction to 50 shades of Grey (the book, no interest in movie) is the idea that it's somehow super edgy or something. I selectively read a few sex scenes and thought it was pretty vanilla.

I quite like vanilla, what's wrong with vanilla?

[CapnAwesome]

One of the funniest things about the reaction to 50 shades of Grey (the book, no interest in movie) is the idea that it's somehow super edgy or something. I selectively read a few sex scenes and thought it was pretty vanilla.

I quite like vanilla, what's wrong with vanilla?

Nothing is wrong with vanilla. However when someone promises you that you are going to get rocky road peanut better cup swirl and you end up with vanilla, it's disappointing.