How popular are secular households?

[Delysid]

I apologize in advance if this has already been done, but I did use the search engine and found nothing like this in first few pages of my search.

I want to ask the people of Atheist Forums what type of households you guys or girls grew up in? I want to provide three different options to choose from: Religious, Semi-religious or Secular households.

A Religious household can be one where religion was a pretty prevalent part of the family dynamic. Your parents believed in a god of some sort and made it a point to teach you to believe in the same things that they did. You may have attended a religious school or attended church on a regular basis. You were definitely part of a Religious household if you attended any sort of Christian Youth summer camp or something similar.

A Semi-religious household would be the type of household where religion certainly held some weight amongst your family, but it didn't really have an overwhelming presence in your family's daily activities or goings-on. You may have attended church on Easter Sunday or something similar and maybe your family said grace before every Thanksgiving dinner, once a year. Your parents may have simply taught you what they thought about god and religion, but honestly cared less about what you believed so long as you did your homework and completed your chores list.

A Secular household in this instance can be considered one where religion was almost more of a non-factor than anything else amongst your family. Your parents may have been atheists, or maybe deists. Or maybe they had one of those new-age ideas about god like "god IS the pulse of the universe" or "we are all gods in our own way." However, even this idea wasn't really shoved down your throat and religion was definitely something that wasn't part of the family dynamic. You have maybe been to church once with your religiously fanatic cousins from Georgia and it was a horrific experience.

Furthermore, what effect did growing up in your household have on your current beliefs? Was it a strong effect? Was it positive or negative? Or do you think you would have arrived at the conclusions you have regardless of what your parents thought about god?

And finally, are you happy that you grew up in the type of household you grew up in? And what kind of household do you have planned for your family/future family? Or, if you already have a family/kids, etc. what do you teach them about religion/god?

I'm really interested to hear everyone's answers!!! Please include the answer you chose in your reply!!! Thanks!

Note: Of course there is a grand spectrum that includes not only these three examples here, but all sorts of in-betweens, belows, aboves and beyonds! I am simply asking you to choose the answer that is closest to your experience and to explain a bit about your experience so we can all have a more accurate idea of how you grew up, coupled with the answer you chose.

My answer: I grew up in a semi-religious household. Although my dad in particular really did try to shove Christianity down my throat, my mom and grandma sort of just had their beliefs and kept them to themselves until I asked about them, which seemed to be quite a bit, I was always doubtful of god even as a child. I did go to a Catholic school when I was in kindergarten but I went to public school after that all the way through senior year. We rarely went to church except maybe on Easter Sunday or something like that. Besides when I finally came out as a atheist no one in the family except my dad even really cared. I think my mom was slightly disappointed but she got over it pretty quick and realized that I am who I am.

I think my dad trying to shove god down my throat REALLY affected my current views on religion. My dad was the biggest hypocrite ever and I think I sorta picked up on that as a kid. So to see this guy who was absolutely none of the things he constantly preached about made me really start to question and pick apart the Christian religion as a whole.

Finally, I think I will raise my children in a secular household. I will certainly explain to them, especially as they get older, that it is completely up to them what they choose to believe in. But as a parent I believe it will be my duty to teach my children what I think is accurate and correct, which is that there is no evidence for god so there is simply to reason to think that it is real. I will teach them that religion can be a very powerful thing and can be a very dangerous thing when left in the hands of dangerous people. My children will be given all of the information concerning the subject and at some age will be allowed to make whatever decision that makes the most sense to them.

[robvalue]

Secular, religion wasn't mentioned much. It wasn't hidden either, so I was left to make my own decisions about it. As it should be!

[Norman Humann]

Religious.

Religious education since preschool. Playing me CDs with religious music since I was 3. Church every Sunday. Lots of vague god mumbo jumbo squeezed in every serious conversation.

It affected me psychologically a lot. Panic disorder and genophobia.

[robvalue]

That's severely fucked up. See, I would not call that education. It's indoctrination. Sadly religious parents often don't understand the difference having themselves been victims of it.

[Aisha]

I voted for secular, but I find it a bit of a difficult one. I went to a christian school because, according to my mum "there wasn't anything better"
I also tended church in the weekends I stayed with my grandparents.

Yet at home, with my parents, we never talked about god or prayed or went to church.

[Angrboda]

I don't know what to vote. We attended church every Sunday, but religion wasn't really a part of the dynamic of my family, never said grace, etc., so to me, that's semi-religious. I think you need more categories.

[Whateverist]

My father was a total bible whore but mercifully often away from home being aboard a ship for the navy. My mother didn't bring up religion much and it wasn't big in her own upbringing. We stopped going to church before I started school. At big holiday family meals when my father was home he would say grace. Sounds like the kind of semi religious home where a kid had half a chance to get away. I did.

[Cyberman]

Totally secular. Religion was never a factor one way or the other. It still isn't, really, even considering my forum activities; it's just something that doesn't come up.

Am I happy about it? Well, I grew up in the 70s - the best time ever to be a kid. As long as you avoided BBC presenters, that is.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I don't know what to vote. We attended church every Sunday, but religion wasn't really a part of the dynamic of my family, never said grace, etc., so to me, that's semi-religious. I think you need more categories.

This was my childhood, too, and I selected "semi-religious".

[Jenny A]

I'm sure there are many people who were raised in a more religious house than I was. But ours was quite religious. We said grace at every dinner and went to church every Sunday, Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and sometimes (especially during Lent) on Wednesday evenings. Mom sang in the choir and Dad occasionally preached (he went to seminary for a year). As long as I was still tucked in at night, there were bedtime prayers. The church sewing group often met in our living room. For many years my parents belonged to church prayer group that met from about 5pm until the wee hours once a month and we kids all came, though we weren't much involved in the prayer part, that was for grown-ups. What we got was a slumber party. I went to Bible school every summer and to Bible camp five summers running. As Sunday school was between services at the church, I attended that too. I belonged to the church's youth group and went on many outings with them and had sleepovers in the church. I went to conformations classes for two years in my teens.

If you are getting the picture that the church was a large part of my parents' social life, you are getting it right. Of necessity it was a large part of mine too. Who was in my youth group and Sunday school classes was as important to my social life as who was in my school classes.

What my parents did not do, is spend a lot of time taking about god with us, or praying with us in a more than formalistic way. They left that to the church. Or at least they did until after I explained that I was not a believer. Then there was much talk at home. I did my brother a disservice there.