Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 8, 2024, 10:40 am
Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
How can we make adults believe in Santa?

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
How can we make adults believe in Santa?
watchamadoodle Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: atheist (sometimes wooist)
Posts: 743
Threads: 35
Joined: December 1, 2014
Reputation: 12
#1
How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 7:40 pm (This post was last modified: March 20, 2015 at 7:46 pm by watchamadoodle.)
I've been wondering why Santa belief disappears but religious belief doesn't. What would we need to do to turn Santa belief into a religion that could compete with Christianity, Islam, etc.?

Here are a few changes that might help:
(1) The real-life gifts on Christmas need to change, because that is too easy to falsify. Either the gifts need to be invisible, or the gifts need to arrive at unpredictable times as random good fortunes. If you have not been naughty, but you still are not receiving gifts, then you simply don't appreciate the gifts that you are getting, and that is very naughty. That explains why you are not getting gifts.
(2) The cookies and milk need to change. Every Christmas Eve, the Santa believers consume a cookie and drink some milk with the assurance that Santa will share this snack with them in spirit.
(3) Santa needs a hell that depends on belief. If you stop believing in Santa, then you will remain on the naughty list until you repent of your unbelief. If you never repent, then you will burn forever in Santa's cookie oven.

Thinking
Find
Reply
Nope Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 2344
Threads: 79
Joined: November 18, 2014
Reputation: 42
#2
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 7:52 pm (This post was last modified: March 20, 2015 at 7:53 pm by Nope.)
There should be some way to feel Santa in your heart.

Lots of things that humans can't help doing like having sexual fantasies or farting should be a considered a sign the person is bad and therefore needs Santa
Find
Reply
c172 Offline
Uppity.
*****
Religious Views: atheist
Posts: 10470
Threads: 165
Joined: May 29, 2013
Reputation: 53
#3
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:14 pm
Don't believe and your fruitcake will get moldy.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
Find
Reply
daver49 Offline
Banned
Religious Views: Mystic
Posts: 139
Threads: 5
Joined: March 15, 2015
Reputation: 2
#4
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:21 pm
(March 20, 2015 at 7:40 pm)watchamadoodle Wrote: I've been wondering why Santa belief disappears but religious belief doesn't. What would we need to do to turn Santa belief into a religion that could compete with Christianity, Islam, etc.?

Become Santa yourself!
Find
Reply
JesusHChrist Offline
Thunder Thighs
****
Religious Views: Christian Satanist
Posts: 2962
Threads: 44
Joined: March 22, 2013
Reputation: 39
#5
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:27 pm
Eternal torture by elves (or even worse, Elvis) if you don't believe?
Find
Reply
watchamadoodle Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: atheist (sometimes wooist)
Posts: 743
Threads: 35
Joined: December 1, 2014
Reputation: 12
#6
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:31 pm (This post was last modified: March 20, 2015 at 8:38 pm by watchamadoodle.)
How about sacramental use of amanita muscaria?

[Image: 2006-10-25_Amanita_muscaria_crop.jpg]
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 45917
Threads: 538
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#7
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:32 pm
Tell them there's money in it.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
Exian Offline
Top Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 5492
Threads: 53
Joined: September 4, 2014
Reputation: 55
#8
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:36 pm
Have Santa become the answer to why we are here and the promise of where we're going.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
Find
Reply
Cato Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Anti-theist
Posts: 6946
Threads: 26
Joined: April 28, 2012
Reputation: 83
#9
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 8:49 pm
(March 20, 2015 at 8:27 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: Eternal torture by elves (or even worse, Elvis) if you don't believe?

I recommend Heat Mizer:

[Image: th?&id=HN.608033718825254966&w=300&h=300...9&rs=0&p=0]
Find
Reply
TheRealJoeFish Offline
Last Living Soul
****
Religious Views: Hallelujah Money
Posts: 2985
Threads: 29
Joined: October 26, 2014
Reputation: 31
#10
RE: How can we make adults believe in Santa?
March 20, 2015 at 9:08 pm


How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D

Don't worry, my friend.  If this be the end, then so shall it be.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
How can we make adults believe in Santa?

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  If god can't lie, does that mean he can't do everything? Silver 184 18481 September 10, 2021 at 4:20 pm
Last Post: Dundee
  Santa Claus Interaktive 2 826 December 26, 2019 at 8:22 am
Last Post: Abaddon_ire
  God can make infinitely more special/valuable things than this universe blue grey brain 84 11918 December 17, 2018 at 7:15 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  Google's Santa Tracker Fake Messiah 15 2829 December 25, 2017 at 1:31 pm
Last Post: Fake Messiah
  Look i don't really care if you believe or don't believe Ronia 20 8580 August 25, 2017 at 4:28 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  Santa is an anagram for Satan goombah111 34 5898 January 27, 2017 at 5:33 am
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
Question Why disbelievers believe? They believe in so called “God of the gaps”. theBorg 49 9778 August 27, 2016 at 12:25 pm
Last Post: bennyboy
  Santa versus god Silver 8 2740 January 15, 2016 at 6:41 am
Last Post: robvalue
  Can I be sued for saving someone's life? Yes I can Dystopia 25 6345 July 14, 2015 at 5:47 pm
Last Post: Jackalope
  If we can't criticize Islam in the West, where can it be criticized? TheMessiah 29 8647 May 10, 2015 at 11:48 am
Last Post: Dystopia



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)