The Last Movie You Watched

[Foxaèr]

The Woman In The Window (on Netflix)

An agoraphobic woman living alone in New York begins spying on her new neighbors, only to witness a disturbing act of violence.

Somewhat predictable and nothing original, but still a decent film.

[AkiraTheViking]

Soylent Green








P.S. I really want to try some Soylent Green because I really want to find out what it tastes like.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Soylent Green








P.S. I really want to try some Soylent Green because I really want to find out what it tastes like.

It tastes like chicken. 

Boru

[Angrboda]

[Angrboda]

This was more compelling than it had any right to be.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Army of The Dead

This is absolutely, without question, the BEST casino-heist-taking-place-during-a-zombie-apocalypse-starring-David-Bautista film I have ever seen.

Boru

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: F The Prom. In a sane world, around this time of year, high school students would be graduating from their schools. And because I didn't give a shit about the prom enough to know when they normally took place (I went to a Catholic boys' school, am heterosexual, had bugger-all in the way of a social life, and, frankly, the only real indicators of when the proms I can remember was that the midget Jewish drama teacher would stop asking one of the students if he was taking her to prom), here's a movie about the whole song and dance as seen by two YouTubers brazen enough to try and trademark the word "react."

• Fucking Hell, the adult still gives a shit about high school popularity. Before you know it, all that social capital you've made over the past four years means fuck-all once you've graduated, and, odds are, the most popular kids are probably going to end up with a dead-end job and possibly brain damage if they were doing sports.
  
• Stop peeking at Maddie's nipples? They're not even peeking out.
  
• This kid's given ridiculous nicknames because of some stupid shit that happened once, like "Stuffs," who stuffed her bra, and "Tighty" because of his underwear that one time he got pantsed. These kids act more like they're in middle school than they're High School seniors.
  
• So, prom takes place on May 17. Well, at least I'm on time.
  
• So, she's got a new hairstyle every day since Freshman year? A minimum of 720 possibles over the four years? You'd think they'd run out of styles.
  
• Is this class devoted entirely to gossiping about the popular girls and their Instagram accounts?
  
• Is this actual Zoomer slang or are the Fine Brothers making shit up and hoping nobody notices?
  
• "Confrontation remains a challenge for me." Directorial notes that ended up spoken out loud or shit from the actual script? You make the call!
  
• Why do I get the feeling that the Dad's role was originally written for James Woods and he ended up turning it down?
  
• Like a surgeon, cuttin' for the very first time.
  
• He doesn't want people seeing his stuff, but he's publishing it on Instagram and is apparently doing an art show. Dafuq?
  
• So, what do we do about the popular kids' good memories ? Fuckking Hell, I just heard of The King of Pigs, where one of the main characters plans to shoot himself during graduation. Of course, this movie's not that dark. They're going to content themselves with screwing up the prom. How? We'll find out later.
  
• "It's only statutory if you get caught." This is not shit a High School Principal says. A drama teacher if she's a Jewish dwarf who reflexively flirts with the boys in the class because she figured out nobody'd consider her if she wasn't proactive about it, yeah, but not the principal.
  
• Every kid your ex-best friend made fun of?
  
  
  
• Fucking Hell, these bullies are bizarrely anti-semitic. And even whatever human rights violation Israel's committing this week doesn't justify it.
  
• HYPERHIDROSIS DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
  
• So, this gay kid's ostracised by the straight jocks, and also ostracised by the gay kids because he's too straight-acting? Kit, since I know you read these, how true is this to reality? Or do you think this is a generational bridge you can't really cross? Or were you just too camp to figure it out.
  
• Also, filling a locker with dildos has to be an extremely expensive prank.
  
• Fucking Hell, Legals is a shitty name for a school team.
  
• You know, she's talking about admiring the losers for staying true to themselves, but, as far as we can tell, they're all outcasts because of shit they have no control of (like being Jewish, having a glandular problem, being gay, having a high-pitched voice, and getting a nude pic circulated around the school.)
  
• So, Maddy's Khaleesi? Does this mean she's going to burn the prom down?
  
• The principal is sniffing a student's hair? And memorialising the moment in her office?
  
• And what's with the "Thanks for the antibiotics" note?
  
• Well, at least he's got decent taste in anime, even if I was always more a Death Note person than a Fullmetal Alchemist person.
  
• You're Jewish on your mom's side? So, that means you're Jewish. 
  
• He still has bar mitzvah money? Isn't he 18? Are Jews supposed to be that cheap that they keep the money in their account.
  
• And why does she want to become part of the prom for real, even as she knows what's going to happen? 
  
• Everything about high school is a cliche. Like this movie.
  
• So, the Dad's aware he's an asshole, but he doesn't bother to be any different. 
  
• And why does he want to not go through with the plan? He now knows how shitty it can make people act. And why isn't he the one telling his Dad how he's an asshole trapped in the past and this is why Mom left them? That'd be some good drama. And it'd make sense; he's disgusted for how trapped his Dad is in the past that he moved into the house next to this random couple he fucked with on Prom Night that he decides he needs to ruin it.
  
• We Are Groot? I'm not sure if I should lament that it's a reference to a better movie, or lament the fact that it's reminding me that I just bought a Blu-ray of Guardians of the Galaxy that turned out to be defective (it's a crapshoot whether or not it goes past the language screen, and it never goes past the 77-minute mark).
  
• So, the plan amounts to: canceling a fleet of limos, turning up the heat on the popular girl's tanning bed, rigging the votes, spiking the punch bowl with laxatives (or just one glass), making the jocks look gay and the gay people look straight, hijacking the video screen with stupid photoshop pictures (including one with a popular kid and a clearly photoshopped tiny dick), and tar and feathering the prom queen. 
  
• You're not an asshole? Yes, he is. He's done nothing in this film except being an asshole.
  
• And why is she acting surprised by this? Wasn't she there for most of the planning stages?
  

• A potentially good Reason You Suck Speech that's ruined by the fact that it ends with "What's Up With that?" And why the fuck am I not able to find any clip of Jerry Seinfeld saying that? Or even The April Fool from The Fairly Oddparents? Fucking Hell, he never even said that?  And even "What's the deal with" was only used ironically? Well, that explains the former, but not the latter.
  
• Also, "We didn't shoot up the prom, no one committed suicide?"
  
  
  
  On that note, I'm legitimately surprised the former has never happened IRL, and that the only case I know of that includes a kid shooting himself in school and nobody else happened so long ago a song about it appeared on Pearl Jam's first album.
  
• And the kid with the parrot voice actually has a normal voice? Then what the fuck even was that?
  
• Also, I don't think a photoshopped pic of an 18-year-old with a clearly fake Deadpool Dick is enough to put a kid on the sex offenders registry.
  
• Well, the one good thing about this random-ass graduation scene: it's at least shorter than the one at the end of 13 Reasons Why?
  
• It sounds a bit short notice for Maddy to have sent the main character's portfolio to an art school and have that be the reason he even got in. Hell, I even remember getting my admissions letters for Columbia and Oakton a year in advance of actually starting classes.
  

[Foxaèr]

Army of The Dead

This is absolutely, without question, the BEST casino-heist-taking-place-during-a-zombie-apocalypse-starring-David-Bautista film I have ever seen.

Boru

Saw the availability on Netflix, but I'll pass.

[Foxaèr]

The Scary House, which Netflix for some reason has titled "The Strange House".

Hendrik is sixteen, a big city kid, and vexed to learn that his mother is moving with him and his little brother Eddi to a village in the south of Austria. To make matters worse, the locals shun the new rustic family home. They say it has been haunted ever since a mother poisoned her two sons in there many decades ago. When a sleep- walking Eddi starts carving strange symbols into the walls, Hendrik and his friends set off on a quest to lift the secret of the spooky house.

This cutie makes the viewing experience worthwhile.

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Typical new family moves into a haunted house film. Nothing original, but something to pass the time.

Worth a watch if you're bored.

[Foxaèr]

Now onto Amazon Prime.

The Lie

A father and daughter are on their way to dance camp when they spot the girl's best friend on the side of the road. When they stop to offer the friend a ride, their good intentions soon result in terrible consequences.

Basically, a lie going too far.

The ending: I knew it! As a writer, it's the kind of twist I would have implemented.