Truth or Love?.. What Matters to you Most?

[Pyrrho]

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The way you are describing things, it seems to me you are comparing truth with a false love, or in other words, not with love at all.  Who wouldn't rather have truth than a false, pretend love?

If you now tell me, but wait, I stated "I don’t think that you have love without truth, not in my definition anyway", you also stated, "Truth or Love.. What’s more important, and why? Force yourself to think about it, and don’t say both are equally important."

You seem to be setting things up so that we are supposed to choose between truth and love, but cannot choose both, and love requires truth.  In other words, you are insisting that we do not choose love, because choosing love is choosing both.

I can see what you’re saying there, and you make a valid point, but I also said that I’m content going through life having friends, but not necessarily needing love (or unconditional love or ‘true love’… it can be more of a bonus). I feel, I could make it with a job to support myself, have some friends that are respectful enough to give me the truth, and just enjoy nature, and be at peace. I do well alone, most of the time, and the people that I do encounter, I’d like to be more honest with me, than show me an unconditional love. There are plenty of people out there, and many can show me kindness, but, first, I’d rather have truth from them.

I may have delved too much into an example of false love, thanks for being truthful with me.

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I don't believe in "unconditional" love.  Or, at least, I do not think that would be a good thing.  If I were to suddenly have a personality change, and started beating my wife, I hope she would leave me.  I think she would, eventually, though I would first need to burn through 20+ years of goodwill.  But I don't think that would take long if we are talking about brutal beatings, and I certainly hope it would not take long.

I think if you want love, and want marriage or something like it, the best way to go about it is to start out as friends.  My wife and I were the best of friends before we added romance to the mix.  If you are curious about the details, I have posted about this before:

http://atheistforums.org/post-936416.html#pid936416

http://atheistforums.org/post-936472.html#pid936472

One of the reasons why I had not thought of her as a potential romantic partner earlier is due to the difference in our ages.  She was much younger (at the time; now the difference in our ages seems trivial).  Lest you get the wrong idea, she was in her 20's, not a child.


As for honesty, I like gentle honesty, and dislike both white lies and brutal honesty.  I have a friend who is brutally honest, and though I like her very much, I would find living with her wearing.


To give a stylized example to distinguish between white lies, gentle truth, and brutal truth:

White lie:  That shirt looks fine with those trousers.

Gentle truth:  I don't care for that shirt with those trousers; please wear a different combination.

Brutal truth:  Are you fucking insane?  That shirt with those trousers?  That is the ugliest combination I have ever seen!  What kind of dumb fuck are you?  Have you no sense of taste at all?


If I get to choose, I will take gentle truth every time.  And that is what I get from my wife, and what I give her as well.