Truth or Love?.. What Matters to you Most?

[Metis]

You know, you make a pretty good point, except for one thing.  You state:

"(I have previously been in hospital from complications related to malnourishment), supposing someone far better looking and slimmer did come along what would be better for my partner to tell me? That I look fine or that compared to X I look like a whale? Perhaps I do look like a whale compared to X"

No.  No you don't look like a whale.  Not if you are suffering from malnourishment.  Your issue is not with someone telling you the truth, but with someone telling you an evil lie.

Trust me on this:  If you are in the range of weight for your height that the AMA recommends, you are not a whale.  Not even close. As far as your weight is concerned, you are totally fine if you are in the range recommended by the AMA.  If you are below it, you should gain weight.  You will look better for it.

Trust me on this.  My wife was underweight when I married her.  She gained a little weight in the first year of our marriage, which brought her up to AMA standards.  She looked better for it.  Too thin is bad.  Anyone who tells you different is an idiot.

Now, it is possible for someone to be too fat.  But that does not meant that thiner is always better.

My advice is to try to stay within the recommended weight range of the AMA.  You will look great if you do, as far as weight is concerned.

So, I think you need the truth that I am telling you.  Of course, I am not saying that you are wrong to want love.

Thanks Pyrro, what you're saying does make a lot of sense. Perhaps my own example wasn't the best comparison, largely because it is (or rather should be) immediately obvious that isn't true. I'm not as underweight as I was at my worst now which was some time ago, I'm still considered underweight by the BMI chart but I am on the upper side of that category and getting towards the right range. I've had a lot of help getting things together since my worst point and I probably would have gotten it sooner if I hadn't spent half my time trying to cover it up, or rather covering up how "fat" I was.

I can't really argue with that, I've made the mistake of mixing up love with not being an asshole there. It's absolutely right.