RE: Truth or Love?.. What Matters to you Most?
July 22, 2015 at 3:01 am
(This post was last modified: July 22, 2015 at 3:04 am by Salacious B. Crumb.)
(July 21, 2015 at 7:47 pm)Metis Wrote:(July 20, 2015 at 1:18 pm)Salacious B. Crumb Wrote: Truth or Love?
Love
Not at all to demean the importance of truth but there is a time and a place for it. Just for an arbitrary example I am a recovering anorexic and while I have been getting myself together I know I'm not the most attractive person in the world anyway, more than that with getting back into shape despite being assured I'm very slim I am constantly plagued by the idea that I'm considerably more overweight compared to everyone else, indeed it's something that I compare every time I see someone even now.
Now knowing how many self-image problems I have and what a nasty turn that has previously taken (I have previously been in hospital from complications related to malnourishment), supposing someone far better looking and slimmer did come along what would be better for my partner to tell me? That I look fine or that compared to X I look like a whale? Perhaps I do look like a whale compared to X, but taking into consideration my feelings and well-being my partner is more likely going to follow the former response.
"Saying it like it is" is important, but with everything there is a time and a place. Love involves putting your own interests aside and prioritizing someone (or something) elses instead. That's a very generous thing to do, and sometimes it's more valuable than the truth. Sometimes peoples feelings do need a good shakeup, but that doesn't always mean you have a right to or should. As in my case, you might not care if someone called you fat but if someone had done that to me a while ago I'd probably have not eaten for the next three or four days and obsessed over the criticism for several weeks afterwards.
Clearly that's not the norm, and it's not healthy either. But in either case to me it shows sometimes the truth isn't always the right thing to say, you could replace anorexic there for paranoid, ugly or any other of problems someone might have that might mean nothing to you but could be crushing to them if it was focused upon. Sometimes the right thing to say is what helps someone else get through the day, and being that empathetic, indeed loving seems more important.
(couldn't figure out how to get this message to appear correctly) Metis, just keep your head up, and stay within the AMA standards as Pyrrho has said. Don't pay attention to the people trying to bring you down or make you feel bad. Do your best not to listen to those thoughts that you are overweight (easier said then done, I know), just focus on the charts and feeling good about yourself. That's brave of you to share that story, we're here to help if you need it.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' -Isaac Asimov-
