RE: Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.
August 13, 2015 at 6:26 pm
(This post was last modified: August 13, 2015 at 6:34 pm by Alex K.)
Haha nice. I appreciate the courage needed to publicly show one's fiction writing, I find the idea daunting if I think of my own modest unpublished efforts. Very readable and raising sufficiently many questions that I want resolved as a reader.
Can I pick nits? Sometimes I feel the adjectives are slightly overdone. Shimmering haze, ominous shadow, etc... You are already doing enough for setting the mood by telling what is going on, less would be more in that department for my taste. Overdoing the adjectives can lend a pulpy tone to the prose.Usually, the recommendation is to use adjectives and adverbs sparingly and to instead employ stronger nouns and verbs which render additional modifiers unnecessary.
Concerning my field of expertise (geometry of higher dimensions) I wouldn't call it "translating to the higher geometries of space time", that sounds odd. How about translate along higher dimensions, that would actually make some technical sense. But that's just me
Can I pick nits? Sometimes I feel the adjectives are slightly overdone. Shimmering haze, ominous shadow, etc... You are already doing enough for setting the mood by telling what is going on, less would be more in that department for my taste. Overdoing the adjectives can lend a pulpy tone to the prose.Usually, the recommendation is to use adjectives and adverbs sparingly and to instead employ stronger nouns and verbs which render additional modifiers unnecessary.
Concerning my field of expertise (geometry of higher dimensions) I wouldn't call it "translating to the higher geometries of space time", that sounds odd. How about translate along higher dimensions, that would actually make some technical sense. But that's just me
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
