Age of Oblivion - my (hopefully) first full novel.

[Iroscato]

Haha nice. I appreciate the courage needed to publicly show one's fiction writing. Very readable and raising sufficiently many questions that I want resolved as a reader.

Can I pick nits? Sometimes I feel the adjectives are slightly overdone. Shimmering haze, ominous shadow, etc... You are already doing enough for setting the mood by telling what is going on, less would be more in that department for my taste. Overdoing the adjectives can lend a slightly pulpy tone to the prose.Usually, the recommendation is to use adjectives and adverbs sparingly and to instead employ stronger nouns and verbs.

Concerning my field of expertise (geometry of higher dimensions) I wouldn't call it "higher geometries".

Thanks for the advice, I will take it on board. To be honest this prologue is about a year old now, and my writing may have improved a notch. Perhaps a minor rewrite is in order.

As to the technobabble...any suggestions for what you might say instead? I'm playing fast and loose with physics as it is, but a crumb of legitimacy could be useful