(August 27, 2015 at 1:23 am)robvalue Wrote: Thank you. I don't know either how anyone can treat their children this way. It's a horrible way to carry on.
The more they abuse their power and treat their kids like shit when they have them "at their mercy", the more likely those kids are to have as little to do with them as possible when they get the chance. My parents have made their bed, now they lie in it. They're never going to change, they are still trying their best to abuse and manipulate me and I'm 38. The difference now is that I have completely emotionally detached myself from them. I've also moved far away from them so they can't keep "just popping round". For my own sanity, this is the way it had to be. It sounds like your father is pushing very hard for that to be your only option too.
One extremely radical idea of my own, possibly terrible but here goes: you could get him to read my posts here so he can see the results of his "style" of parenting. That would give him one last chance to back the fuck up. If he still doesn't after that, there is no hope for him. You could say you've been discussing your problems, and copy/paste my posts without having to show him what you wrote.
Completely emotionally detaching myself would be the best thing that I could do, but for years and years every single decision that ran through my head would go something like this, “What will dad think?” “How’s he going to react?” Really looking at it, by using other people’s experiences to see my own, I’m definitely traumatized to shit, which doesn’t help with heart arrhythmia and then leads to horrible ulcerative colitis consequences. I’ll probably go to the doctor to explain everything that’s going on within a few days, and try to find help in some form or another.
I don’t think I could bring him here to see these posts. If he knew I was doing this, he’d automatically think he’s done nothing wrong in his life and everything that has happened is my fault, simply because I don’t believe the completely made-up invisible boogie man in the sky.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' -Isaac Asimov-
