He won't listen because he's ill. He doesn't think he's ill, but he is. And unless he recognizes it (and if he's like my father, he likely thinks that psychiatrists/psychologists are nothing more than liberal quacks who profit from messing with people's thoughts and morality, and ending relationships), he'll never accept what you try to point out to him. He may pay lip service to get you back into the house, because people like him get off on keeping others under their thumb, but he won't mean it.
And that sucks, and it's sad. And it will take years to get over. Like I said, I haven't been in the same room as my father for about 15 years (I think it may be 14, actually, when we were going through the trial). And it took a long, long time to work through my issues and become healthier. And I'm not completely unaffected by his damage even today. I hope I am someday, but I know it'll take more time. But, I'm a lot better, a lot more whole now as a person than I ever was when he was around.
That's why I say never go back. You won't be able to heal if he's in the picture. It's way too easy to fall into old roles and patterns of behavior, and the cycle won't break.
And that sucks, and it's sad. And it will take years to get over. Like I said, I haven't been in the same room as my father for about 15 years (I think it may be 14, actually, when we were going through the trial). And it took a long, long time to work through my issues and become healthier. And I'm not completely unaffected by his damage even today. I hope I am someday, but I know it'll take more time. But, I'm a lot better, a lot more whole now as a person than I ever was when he was around.
That's why I say never go back. You won't be able to heal if he's in the picture. It's way too easy to fall into old roles and patterns of behavior, and the cycle won't break.
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
