Core Message Of Christianity Isn't One Of Love

[Wyrd of Gawd]

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But then Christians use love as a license to treat one another any old kind of way then demand forgiveness. I know some people right here at AF who love me, not because if they don't I'll sic god on them, but because they start with respect and respect turns to love. Love is not something you can command people to do. What could be more phony than, "I can't stand you but god told me I have to love you, so I will because I don't want to spoil my blessings."

...And the "Christians" who do this, are certainly not acting in a loving way and are merely using any excuse they can to be bullies. That is wrong, and that is NOT love. Love does not mean abusing people on purpose only because you feel you can "demand" forgiveness afterwards. Any sane person who tries to do this and calls it love, is being dishonest to themselves.

As for your second point, love doesn't necessarily mean liking someone and having good feelings about them. You are right, that would be phony, because we can't possibly feel that way about everyone. But love, in the sense us Christians (ought) to mean when we say things like "love your enemy", is not a feeling, it's a decision and an action. We love our enemy by acting kind to them, forgiving them even if they are not sorry, not seeking revenge against them, and treating them with respect. Those are all actions, not feelings.

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My favorite thing that Jesus said was this: 

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you only love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even tax collectors love those who love them. And if you only do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even tax collectors do the same. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return."

^THIS should be a Christian's understanding of love, straight from the Man Himself, and is also one of the most fundamental and important Christian message. So when a Christian uses "love" to mean anything other than the above, or to act in a way that is not loving, he/she is not acting on the teachings of Christ.

That sounds good but then Jesus says that he's going to toss everyone who doesn't believe him into the lake of fire.  He's not loving or forgiving.