Body shaming, and "My Big Fat Fabulous Life"

[Catholic_Lady]

I feel like some people here didn't read my post, but that's ok.  As I said, I understand the defensiveness, and so I expected it.

I DO feel it is about health.  For instance, I do not discus my brothers weight unless he brings it up, but he brings it up fairly often, and then we talk about how he could be healthier.  I have this pic of my little girl being held by her Uncle Rob (my brother) and I swear to you every time I look at that pic, I cry a litle because I worry deeply that he will not live another year and get to see his only niece grow up.  And it hurts me to see my brother, who is only 16 months youngre than me, so we grew up very close, suffer the way he does.

I know smany people are dicks, and that shaming does happen (the story about being followed around and retching noises, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you), but this show is encouraging heavy people to stay heavy. That's all I see coming out of it, anyway.

Yes, the show does talk about her quest to lose weight, but she also actually HAS a medical condition that makes it hard to lose weight.  But that is NOT the focus of the show, the focus of the show is celebrating her life the way it is, too.  And for her, with a medical condition, that is fine, that is FABULOUS.  But like my husband.....he has no medical condition, he is hooked on sugar.  he knows this is his problem, and I do not shame him, because I love him, but I encourage him to make healthier choices, just like he encourages ME to eat healthier.

Ok, the truth:
I have a neighbor who is very friendly, and very morbidly obese.  She also has difficulty moving, but walks a mile or so every day.  She and her husband have been trying to have their 3rd baby for a while, but she had 2 miscarraiges.  Which is AWFUL.  The doctor told her she should not try to get pregnant until she lost 75lbs at least, for her own sake and the baby, and she said to me that THE DOCTOR FAT SHAMED HER.  She was furious.  She ignored all of his advice, found a new doc, one who gave her fertility treatment, and she carried the next baby to term.  Her daughter is now almost a year old, and last week....she had a mild heart attack.  She's 34.  She's effing lucky, as are her 3 very young kids, that she did not die. 

It was her heart attack (I've been friends with her for 4 years now) followed by me seeing this show that made me angry and create this thread.  I'd like my friend to LIVE, and stop making excuses for being obese.  Do I ever shame her? I sure as hell hope not.  But it's not a thing she sees as something she can or should try and change.  

I find the body acceptance movement to be self defeating and depressing.  I see people around me getting heavier and heavier and making excuses to just keep right on doing that.  That's just sad to me.  I truly fear my own husband will die before his daughter is grown, if he won't stop sneaking out of the house and buying 16 oz frozen yogurts topped with 1lb of bobas, or McDonalds burgers and a large shake. It's a fight.  How can I show him I love him, but ask him to change at the same time?  The body acceptance movement is making this much, much harder on the people with weight issues, not easier.  Do you see LESS fat people?  Do you see LESS anorexic women?

No.

When my doctor told me I was too underweight, I do not think she was shaming me, she was legitimately concerned about my health.
Every heavy person I know who watches that watches the show uses it as an excuse to stay how they are, not as an inspiration to get healthier.  They are fabulous as they are (and they are fabulous people!), but it's not inspiring people to be healthier....it's dong the opposite.  That is my problem with the show.

Amen, woman. Amen.