(September 22, 2015 at 8:00 pm)WishfulThinking Wrote: I grew up in a Christian family, always a little unsure about whether or not I believed it. Even now, the best evidence I have that I believe it is how afraid I am of God.
This is, word for word, exactly how I was a few years ago. I held on to my religion only because I feared the punishment of hell and god's wrath. I think it speaks volumes of how deeply religion instills fear into followers. At one point, when I first started to detach myself, I feared I was going to hell because god would be angry that I was simply toying with the idea he might not exist. Having been there myself, that point in time when you're struggling is scary as hell.
Fast forward to now... I'm an atheist through and through, and have never been happier or more at peace. I've never been a better person, either; not that I'm anywhere near perfect—but when I was a Christian, I was borderline fundamentalist and took a lot of pride in going around bashing non-Christians, homosexuals, and anyone who openly had sex outside of marriage. I regret it all, and see now that targeting those groups was me lashing out because I was repressing my own sexual identity and sexuality (bisexual and horny as hell, to put it bluntly, haha).
Anyway, I digress... I can only speak of my own experience, so for whatever it's worth—what you seek is likely validation for what you already believe. There will be no one single argument against Christianity or theism as a whole that will sway you to let go or hold on to your beliefs.
I can't remember the argument/logic/evidence that led me to "become" an atheist, because deep down I know now that I always was an atheist in denial. I wanted to believe in god because it was easy, it was popular, and it meant answers to a lot of the unknown we don't yet have explanations for or can't wrap our minds around yet.
I could give you loads of reasons why I am an atheist and why I'm no longer a Christian, but at the end of the day, all I can really do is give you this piece of advice: keep searching for your answer, and you will find it. Odds are, you already know it.
Stick around the forums, there's a lot of great people and a lot of interesting talk. I look forward to seeing your intellectual journey and getting to know you. Best of luck, and welcome. :-)
