(October 6, 2015 at 12:40 am)bambi_swag Wrote: The closest I've been to being an atheist was just a big bout of agnosticism that lasted for around a year when I was younger. So I don't know how you guys see things. How did the whole atheist revelation come to you?
It took around two years for me, and happened in my late 20s/early 30s.
It started as a combination of gradual doubts, things not making sense, and me wondering if I really believed in certain aspects of the religion (i.e. "did the flood really happen?"). So, once I realized this was more than a few lingering doubts, I actively started fighting against my disbelief. I realized after a while that I couldn't make myself believe. In order for me to believe, it had to make sense. The more I tried to make sense of it, the less sense it made. The more I tried to read the Bible, the less sense it made. The more I looked for God, the less I saw him.
Then, there was a period of me being somewhat angry at God. Both that I was going through this and also the standard "why let bad things happen to good people?" sort of questions. After well over a year after this all started, I pretty much knew I didn't believe, but I still feared hell. I spent a good six months wondering if this was all some sort of weird test that I'd failed. There was a lot of depression for me during that time.
After those six months, I got to a point when I realized that I'd never lost any sleep over not believing in any of the other religions. I didn't see Christianity bringing any more evidence to the table than the other religions I didn't care about. I wondered why I was worried about that one hell I didn't believe in, but not any of the others. That line of thinking was when I was able to let the vestiges of my religious beliefs go. I felt a tremendous relief during and after that time.
Of course, then began the phase of my life when I had to reevaluate my stance on pretty much everything, once I'd gotten rid of that core aspect of myself.
