(October 9, 2015 at 1:09 am)connietheTgirl Wrote: 1.) God provides no meaning in my life whatsoever. I haven't actively followed him in 5 years. I left the church for a year but soon returned. When I opened up about being transgender, well no one ridiculed me, but I feel like some of my Christian friends are brushing me off. Maybe their homophobic, I really don't know, and I actually don't care. I tried turning to God for help, but it hasn't helped me. I try to pray, but I feel awkward when doing so.
2.) I want to become an atheist. But I'm afraid to. There many reasons for this. Social stigma, lack of support, having to abandoned a way of life a grew up with, and change. I lack social skills, and am not good at making friends, so if I enter the Atheist community I feel making new friends will be a long way off, and there's already a social stigma attached to me being transgender, add atheist to the equation, well that only makes it worse. So, it's fear that holds me back. And the fact I'm unwilling to give up God totally.
3.) I have no evidence. I believe, but I don't believe. I struggle back and forth with this question all the time. Does God exist? I guess I will never truly know, since philosophy and science can never disprove or prove there is a God. It all comes down to faith, and I absolutely zero faith. I could become agnostic, but I feel like that is just sitting on the fence.
4.) I am fearful of death. Because I know if God really does exist, I will go to hell. Not only because I cross-dress, but because I have no faith in him. The fear of hell scares me the most.
ForsakenHeretic said: Death is supposed to be a very peaceful experince.
I wouldn't say that, there's some people who die very painfully before their actually dead:/
I'm probably gonna head to bed now. I'm very tired. I really want to get to know atheism better. I feel like it can really give me a new perspective on life. I've been brainwashed my whole life and I really want to "heal" from it. I just find it really hard. Any advice you can give would be much appreciated. Thanks!
Connie
It sounds like you just have a social circle which will make giving up religion hard for you. If church is where your social life has taken place you shouldn't expect atheism to replace that. Atheism isn't really anything in itself. It is simply life devoid of any belief in God.
Since you seem to lean toward disbelief too, you probably do need to enlarge your social circle. It really is a horrible choice you have there. Good luck finding resolution any way you can.
