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Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend
#19
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend
(October 11, 2015 at 9:58 am)ponhei9502 Wrote: Hi everybody. So I'm completely new here. I'd like to start off by apologising for jumping straight into asking a question before properly introducing myself or contributing to any other discussion.
However, I am facing quite a difficult recently developed situation and need as much help as I can get. 

So me and my girlfriend has been in a relationship for 2,5 years now. We met on the Internet so we were long distance for a long time. But 6 months ago I decided to move and it was the best decision of my life. My girlfriend, who used to be more of a cultural Muslim, a deistic non practicing Muslim I suppose would be the best description. While I'm an atheist. 
Ive never really had much of a problem with her beliefs at all since they were extremely minuscule. 
Her parents has tried countless of times to push her to become more invested in "her" religion. Start praying, listen to God, confess your sins, follow the quran and all of that good stuff, mind the sarcasm. 
However yesterday her auntie died completely out of nowhere. So when she was grieving, we went to her parents house. Whiles she was extremely vulnerable, her parents decided to start talking to her and convincing her to do all of the things previously mentioned. 
She completely broke down crying apologising for not following the teachings and promising her dad to start investing in Islam. I was in another room overhearing this which made me feel disgusted with her parents, but also it kind of broke my heart hearing her give in to their bullying. She's now decided to start reading the quran, praying and so on. 

Which is where my problem comes in. Because now I know that they can manipulate her into following "her" religion. Before the thought of getting married to her without me having to convert didn't seem like a big issue, since she said herself that she wouldn't let her parents decide on who she could and couldn't marry. Now that I know they can manipulate her, I'm not so sure anymore. Its not just about her religion, I'm worried about compatability now as well. Atheism and deism is one thing, there's not much of a conflict there. Islam is a different story though. 

Does anyone have any experience of anything like this? Are there any other implications? Perhaps I'm overreacting? 

Any input would be greatly appreciated

I know what I would do.
But you're the only one in your particular situation.

The trick is learning to ask yourself the right questions,
and then be very honest with yourself about your answers.

Otherwise you will end up resenting her in the long run.

consider what areas of your life you are willing to bend on,
and which areas you are not willing to bend on.

In my experience,
there is a big difference between "arriving at a compromise" versus "compromising yourself".

And she will need to do the same.
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Messages In This Thread
Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by ponhei9502 - October 11, 2015 at 9:58 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Napoléon - October 11, 2015 at 10:07 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by ponhei9502 - October 11, 2015 at 10:20 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by brewer - October 11, 2015 at 10:07 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by LastPoet - October 11, 2015 at 10:08 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by TheRocketSurgeon - October 11, 2015 at 10:13 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by ponhei9502 - October 11, 2015 at 10:40 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by MTL - October 11, 2015 at 6:19 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Mermaid - October 11, 2015 at 10:31 am
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by LastPoet - October 11, 2015 at 12:04 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by TheRocketSurgeon - October 11, 2015 at 12:07 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by I_am_not_mafia - October 11, 2015 at 5:39 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Minimalist - October 11, 2015 at 12:09 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by robvalue - October 11, 2015 at 12:10 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Pyrrho - October 11, 2015 at 3:40 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Mermaid - October 11, 2015 at 4:06 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Regina - October 11, 2015 at 4:18 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by paulpablo - October 11, 2015 at 5:30 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by Aoi Magi - October 11, 2015 at 5:51 pm
RE: Atheist with a Muslim girlfriend - by MTL - October 11, 2015 at 5:51 pm

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