Why so many "anti-feminists" in the atheist community?

[Aroura]

Alright well, lets just correct one mistake. Its not predominantly in the atheist community. You can find such videos in any community with the same frequency. Lets nip that in the bud. Let me share my perspective. It might clarify the reason why some men are getting irate;

Everytime I watch a feminist video I am almost always being told, in no uncertain terms, that even though I might not think I'm sexist I am infact sexist. In very sweeping strokes I am told that all members of my sex are sexist and at no point does the irony of that sentiment seem to sink in.
To really put that in perspective its like a black rights group telling me I'm a white privilege asshole whos very existence has helped propagate slavery and prejudice in modern and exotic forms then expecting me to want to continue to the dialogue. In both cases I'm made out to be a monster but am expected to act with understanding. This isn't something limited to extremist feminists either. Why not just make good points and get me onboard instead of constantly insulting me. I shouldn't have to agree with everything said in order not to be a misogynist, why can't a constructive dialogue take place instead of a constant barrage of abuse? Its like because I have male genitals no reasoned points are required, I've lost by default.

Is it probable I'm influenced by a society that was in large part made by men for men? Sure but that isn't the sum total of who I am and that doesn't mean they know my views. They don't, they clearly don't. They don't get the right to make me out to be a misogynist based on the actions of men in the past. If we were all guilty of the crimes of those who came before we would all get the death penalty.
Also; feminism is not for equal rights. It isn't. Its for the promotion of female rights. At no point is it campaigning for both male and female rights. How many times have you seen feminists discuss whether men should get paternity leave voluntarily? If feminists were serious about equal rights they would identify as egalitarians like Surge said. I've yet to see it happen. Theres nothing wrong with having your best interests at heart but can we be honest about it at least? Feminism is not out to improve my lot in life, its asking me to help at the same time as hurling abuse at me.

That being said; why on earth would you subscribe to TheAmazingAtheist to begin with? Thats like shooting yourself in the head then complaining of brain damage.

This is actually what I think is going on.  The problem is language, I think.  I don't even know how to adress is.  It reminds me of how I feel when watching videos about racism.  Because I'm white, I'm automatically racist because of white privilege.  If I try and be color blind, I'm only making the issue worse, apparently. I need to wake up and address race all the time, be aware of it ALL the time.  But I don't see how being constantly aware that my neighbor is a different skin color than me is helping.  I hear the arguments, and I try and do my best to be a good person and fair to all other persons, but that just isn't enough.

This is the problem feminism runs into.  It, obviously, isn't a bad thing. Just like raising awareness to racism is not a bad thing. But some of the basic theories it operates under alienate the very people we need to help, quite on accident for the most part.  Like that we live in a patriarchal society....which we do.  But that automatically kind of turns it into sides, he against she, us vs them mentality.

Honestly, any time you point out that a person has privilege, and it isn't like something THEY are lording over you on purpose, it's a pretty bitter pill to swallow.