Jesus was an alien. He was sent to Earth on a mission - to turn as many humans as possible into ignorant, infantile and cowardly hippies (and not the good kind, that sell drugs), so that he could come back later with an army of flying robots, easily conquer the planet and harvest its resources, including the human population. That's why he taught people not to fight evil ("turn the other cheek"), not to think about the future ("take no thought for the morrow") and other such utter nonsense.
He used sophisticated alien technology to perform tricks, that convinced the local peasants of his godliness, caused some civil unrest, staged his death, then teleported back to his planet, in order to get his army. It's as of yet unclear, whether his plan was a failure, or whether he's still on his way over here - space travel is a b*tch.
True story.
He used sophisticated alien technology to perform tricks, that convinced the local peasants of his godliness, caused some civil unrest, staged his death, then teleported back to his planet, in order to get his army. It's as of yet unclear, whether his plan was a failure, or whether he's still on his way over here - space travel is a b*tch.
True story.

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw