RE: Responsibility transfer for atheists - dealing with uncertainty
November 22, 2015 at 11:53 am
(This post was last modified: November 22, 2015 at 11:54 am by Catma.)
You really want the personal post? Remember, you asked! 
My life has been going very badly. I inherited extremely toxic, pessimistic beliefs from my parents, both directly through transmission of their beliefs, and psychologically through neglect. I had been isolated and sheltered for a long time, these beliefs were never challenged, and I wound up in a depressing situation. It seemed that I would always be behind in life and never able to catch up, which prevented me from even trying anything.
This sort of psychological problem is very resistant to reason. People will say positive things, and outwardly you say you agree with them. But inwardly you think "Well that's easy for you to say. You have X, Y, and Z. So that doesn't apply to me." It's a devious trap where you build your own cage from the inside. I'm still not sure exactly how I shook it off. It seems to have been a combination of many things.
So, now I have to figure out all the shit I've been missing out on, that my peers have been absorbing automatically for years. I look around at my material circumstances, what (little) I have accomplished, and who I've become, and it's a constant reminder that wow, I fucked up. I get daily pings in all spheres of life reminding me how far behind I am. And of course, a lack of self confidence caused by years of these thoughts magnifies them every time.
So that's why I have a hard time thinking the world is an abundant place. Pain in the ass, but you gotta start somewhere!
My life has been going very badly. I inherited extremely toxic, pessimistic beliefs from my parents, both directly through transmission of their beliefs, and psychologically through neglect. I had been isolated and sheltered for a long time, these beliefs were never challenged, and I wound up in a depressing situation. It seemed that I would always be behind in life and never able to catch up, which prevented me from even trying anything.
This sort of psychological problem is very resistant to reason. People will say positive things, and outwardly you say you agree with them. But inwardly you think "Well that's easy for you to say. You have X, Y, and Z. So that doesn't apply to me." It's a devious trap where you build your own cage from the inside. I'm still not sure exactly how I shook it off. It seems to have been a combination of many things.
So, now I have to figure out all the shit I've been missing out on, that my peers have been absorbing automatically for years. I look around at my material circumstances, what (little) I have accomplished, and who I've become, and it's a constant reminder that wow, I fucked up. I get daily pings in all spheres of life reminding me how far behind I am. And of course, a lack of self confidence caused by years of these thoughts magnifies them every time.
So that's why I have a hard time thinking the world is an abundant place. Pain in the ass, but you gotta start somewhere!
