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Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm
Ive been pretending to be a christian for the last year, and i decided i would just be honest with myself and call myself an atheist. Ive been hiding it from my parents for a while, but after a sunday sermon today i couldnt help but rip the pastors logic to shreds in the car ride home. Some how the argument that ensued led to talk about my religious position, and i told them i was just a "questioning agnostic".
My mom literally started crying, and talking about how she had failed at parenting and life because i wasnt a christian anymore..
My dad just about disowned me, and was yelling i could do whatever and he didnt care.
My parents told me not to just become a christian again to pretend for them, but im seriously considering it. Should i feel so bad for my lack of faith? I dont know what to do right now..
Has anyone dealt with a situation similar to this?
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm
I am a Christian and I think the reason your parents reacted so badly was because it is mentioned in the Bible to talk about faith to the nest generation. Any way I wouldn't go back to pretending to be a Christian. I not really sure if you should feel bad for your lack of faith. I feel bad for my lack of faith but that is only because I follos God therefore I feel like I have failed, but that is just personal opinion and feeling.
I don't think your Dad should of reacted by as you said almost disowning you. I would just wait for the heat to die down before having a calm talk with your parents about your feelings.
I hope everything works out
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 1:29 pm
Give it time, and in the meanwhile, just be kind and sincere. When the time is right to have further discussions, your interim kindness and sincerity will be exponentially valuable in dealing with the matter. Don't stir the pot, thus giving your parents cause to further accuse/abuse you. Be the bigger person in this - they'll see it and maybe even begin questioning how a 'godless' person can be so calm and respectful. Be patient, this is a process for everyone involved, and each will process how, and at what pace, they are best able.
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 1:52 pm
(This post was last modified: September 21, 2014 at 1:55 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
(September 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm)interstice Wrote: Ive been pretending to be a christian for the last year, and i decided i would just be honest with myself and call myself an atheist. Ive been hiding it from my parents for a while, but after a sunday sermon today i couldnt help but rip the pastors logic to shreds in the car ride home. Some how the argument that ensued led to talk about my religious position, and i told them i was just a "questioning agnostic".
My mom literally started crying, and talking about how she had failed at parenting and life because i wasnt a christian anymore..
My dad just about disowned me, and was yelling i could do whatever and he didnt care. Huh, failed did she? Out raping and pillaging and brutalizing others for your misdeeds like your parents hero, are you? Sounds like they both succeeded -in spite- of their religious convictions. You have a brain, you're using it.
Quote:My parents told me not to just become a christian again to pretend for them,
That's good advice. I'd run with that.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 1:56 pm
(This post was last modified: September 21, 2014 at 1:57 pm by vorlon13.)
For a funny take:
Instead of pretending to be as Christian as they are for a year, you should have went ultra orthodox on them. Build a prayer closet and make THEM use it. Handle serpents, stock the fridge with strychnine. Build an altar in the back yard and incinerate small animals for the smoke that pleases God's mighty nostrils.
They would be begging you to go total atheist by now.
hang in there !
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 2:07 pm
I'd suggest just lying low for a while. After the initial shock wears off, they might not be as emotional.
It's a process and sometimes lengthy.
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm
I never had that with my parents. I made sure they would be in a world of hurt if they ever tried blackmail on me. But then, i am rather of an ass, with no regard for consequences. Don't listen to me if you want an easy way out.
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 2:40 pm
Yeah, I cannot give easy advice. I am confrontational and a bit of an asshole at times. I mainly tell most of my family to suck a big bag of dicks!
Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere. - Carl Sagan
Professional Watcher of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report!
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 21, 2014 at 2:58 pm
(September 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm)interstice Wrote: Ive been pretending to be a christian for the last year, and i decided i would just be honest with myself and call myself an atheist. Ive been hiding it from my parents for a while, but after a sunday sermon today i couldnt help but rip the pastors logic to shreds in the car ride home. Some how the argument that ensued led to talk about my religious position, and i told them i was just a "questioning agnostic".
My mom literally started crying, and talking about how she had failed at parenting and life because i wasnt a christian anymore..
My dad just about disowned me, and was yelling i could do whatever and he didnt care.
My parents told me not to just become a christian again to pretend for them, but im seriously considering it. Should i feel so bad for my lack of faith? I dont know what to do right now..
Has anyone dealt with a situation similar to this?
Emotional blackmail is often the way of parent, and others, when it comes to people questioning their beliefs.
Claims of failing as a parent are very common.
Be who you are and not who others expect you to be.
Show your parents you're still the person you always were.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: Dealing with overly emotional christian parents?
September 22, 2014 at 2:55 pm
(September 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm)interstice Wrote: My mom literally started crying, and talking about how she had failed at parenting and life because i wasnt a christian anymore..
My dad just about disowned me, and was yelling i could do whatever and he didnt care.
Your mom's reaction is somewhat natural, given the circumstances. She has a belief system where she is required to teach you "the Truth" and there's a better than even chance that she believes you're risking going to hell. She's concerned, albeit misguided.
Your dad is pretty much being a jerk, regardless of if you look at it through a Christian or skeptical lens. He's likely lashing out because he doesn't know how to appropriately respond.
(September 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm)interstice Wrote: Should i feel so bad for my lack of faith? I dont know what to do right now..
No, you shouldn't. It will likely take time to calm them down. Assuming you want to have a good relationship with them, don't be confrontational to them. You probably won't turn them around, but you might eventually get them to respect your position.
(September 21, 2014 at 12:58 pm)interstice Wrote: Has anyone dealt with a situation similar to this?
Luckily, no. The worst I've had to deal with is that my parents, in-laws, and wife think I'm going through a phase or having a crisis of faith. I think they all hope that I'll "get better". What's annoying about it is that I'm in my thirties, so, the notion that "I'm going through a phase" is rather condescending.
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