(November 30, 2015 at 7:56 am)DespondentFishdeathMasochismo Wrote: You act like I have this problem with talking to people, I never even fucking talk to people in the first place.
This is the problem you must overcome. All relationships are built on communication. You may find it easier on the internet because you are shielded from input in the form of body language, facial expression, tone, etc.
Is there any chance that your inability to strike up conversation is born from a fear of rejection? Mine was. I had an epiphany when I was a junior in high school. Until then, my fear of rejection was almost crippling. Until then I had to have some sort of assurance that the other party was interested. Keep in mind that I'm not strictly speaking of romantic relationships, but rather all relationships. A few things changed: 1. I became comfortable in my own skin and gave up the overwhelming desire to please everyone. 2. I realized that I didn't like everyone so it was unrealistic to expect everyone to like me. With billions of people in the world, not every encounter was important knowing that there are plenty of others. 3. Understanding this, I quit forcing the idea of relationships. Relationships should develop naturally and often blossom from chance encounters.
#3 above significantly changed my expectations. I vividly recall several instances when I was in the Navy and single that shipmates of mine were despondent because they didn't get laid that night. My upbeat mood after a good night out was always challenged. I was happy if I could get someone to dance with me and perhaps enjoy some conversation. A couple of those interactions resulted in future dates, but a vast majority didn't. The same goes for male friendships. Keep in mind that I may have had to endure nine rejections for each time someone was willing to engage me, but it no longer bothered me. I was able to let go of the rejection and cherish the interactions that went well.
As with anything, practice makes perfect (keeping with Quantum's new fetish of speaking in cliche). There's no doubt that you will likely continue to be uncomfortable chatting up strangers (male and female). I assure you, this unease will pass the more you get engaged.
