Relationship Standards

[Heir Apparent]

Hey just wanted to seek a bit of advice/an opinion from the community.

Recently l got into an argument with a friend over the standards that I hold for the opposite sex. I don't think it's too much to ask, but I require that they are at least some form of skeptic, naturally, a non-alcoholic and a non-smoker.

The last bit really seemed to strike said friend as silly. He suggested that I'm a bit of a fool for caring so much about whether or not a woman smokes, despite my objections (cost, smell, etc) and telling him that I once was an asthmatic due to my parents smoking previously.

Anyone else I've talked to, women included, think this is totally acceptable and normal. What do you guys and gals think? Am I asking too much?

I understand the whole deal about requesting the person quit and that l shouldn't really worry what he thinks, just looking for some more opinions.

Also I strictly mean cigs, not the good combustibles.

[frankiej]

I can totally understand why people would be put off by me because I am a smoker, fortunately though, I already have a girlfriend, so fuck the rest of the world! Oh wait, I'm not allowed.
I don't think your standards there are too restricting at all. You ain't askin' too much, bro.

[Captain Colostomy]

Everyone has their preferences and demands. Yours seems rather reasonable overall. However, assuming a girl is a total freek-a-leek sexually, I would be prepared to ditch a couple, just in case.

[Kayenneh]

I think that you should not budge when it comes to your standards. (If they're too high or weird, you will probably never find anyone, but unless you're not one of those, everything's ok.) If you enter a relationship and you're not entirely satisfied from the beginning, odds are that's it's not going to get easier when the glamour of the infatuation fades away. For instance, I lowered my demands due to desperation, and I had a horrible 9 months lasting relationship. After that I actually made a list of what I actually wanted in a partner and never strayed from it (and that's how Scruffy and I are now in a highly functioning relationship). There were firm demands (such as have own friends and hobbies) and some demands I could compromise on (such as height and money). It's not up to anyone else to say what you should want in a partner, you are the one who (potentially) will live with him/her for the rest of your life. And finally, no Heir, you do not demand too much or too silly

[Heir Apparent]

Thanks guys, I appreciate it.

I should clarify also that I am quite passionate when it comes to the subject of cigarettes. To the point where honestly I don't think I could carry on a relationship with a woman if I found out she smoked, if she was unwilling to quit. It's just something I'm not willing to let go of.

The same friend also tried to tell me that he'd rather date a lady who smoked tobacco over a woman who casually smoked weed, citing that they'd use "sorry I was high" as an excuse to cheat.

Needless to say I put that argument down and immediately invalidated the rest of his arguments (like I said, just seeking other opinions).

Edit - thank you Kay. Funnily enough I did the same thing after my last, and awful, relationship. Made a list of things I require. What I've said already is basically it. I am not picky about looks and superficial stuff, as long as she's nice and appreciates me for me and not who I could be (like my last).

[Something completely different]

I dont really have something like standards and I am ready to deal with pritty much everything.

By setting up standards I would feel like trying to create an ideal person which is a thought that I dont like.

I do see your point under some circumstances. I wouldnt date a methhead or someone who has 3 cans of beer and a shot of jägermeister for breakfest. But would I be in a releationship and my partner would slowly start having such problems I am probably more enclined to help her, rather than just running away and hiding behind some "standards".

[Jackalope]

Your standards are what they are, and yours is really the only opinion that counts in the matter.

[freedomfromforum]

Before I was married I refused to date
women who...

*smoke cigarettes
*drink excessive alcohol
*are mean or negative
*won't put out
*have fake boobs
*are related to me
*are misandrists
*never smile
*etc.etc.etc.

You make the standards. There are
plenty of different people out there.
No need to settle. Be choosy. Cheers.

[Rahul]

My standards always revolved around how big of a rack they had.

Got a question for you.

Two women apply for a position. Both have graduate degrees in the requisite field. But one has several years experience in a for profit company where the other had twice as much experience but in a non profit capacity.

Which do you hire?






The one with the bigger boobs.

[CleanShavenJesus]

I've never been unattracted by women smoking, but it's not something that I find attractive either. My current partner isn't a smoker, so.