Is it wrong?

[MTL]

Is it wrong that I am not moved by death?

I feel nothing when I learn about the death of another.

You made a comment "He was ugly anyway."  I don't think the cause of you saying that is just purely a lack of empathy, it's combined with other things like attention seeking, shallowness, things like that.

If I wanted to seek attention I could have said something really shallow and offensive about him and I wouldn't feel any emotion about it but I just don't have that desire for attention.

Absolutely.

(And the following is just a general observation for those hurt by the needless negativity of others
that is only said out of a calculated desire to hurt others
...I'm not addressing you, specifically, PaulPablo):


There is such a thing as being kind,
and then there is being too easily affected by the way others talk to you or treat you,
to your own detriment.

In this sense, Kitan hit sort of close  to the mark;

It's not that his "attitude"

...or rather, his proactive decision to say something negative that was in no way constructive...

CANNOT hurt others;
it's that it SHOULDN'T.

So Kitan scorns anyone who is hurt
by his choice to proactively say something that is needlessly negative

...so why did he say it, then?

His comment contributed nothing useful;
it's only possible purpose could be to hurt those who are hurtable.

So I posit that his subsequent scorn for those who are hurt by his otherwise pointless  words
...is just to hurt them even further.

As I get older, and I learn about the staggering myriad ways  that people can become fucked in the head,
what emerges is that I need not become less empathic;
just more guarded about who is worth dispensing that empathy upon,
and whose opinions are worthless as a fart in the wind.

For instance, once I learned what a Narcissist was, I learned to spot them earlier,
and get away from them.

Once I learned what Cognitive Dissonance was....answer same as above.

If an Empathic person doesn't understand these things,
then they will continue turning the other cheek
and continue to be smitten again and again.

But once you understand the psychology,
or at least understand that there IS some sort of fucked-up-ed-ness at work, there,
and that you can do nothing about it,
you stop blaming yourself
and write that person off.

(What is tricky is when they succeed in shaming you for something that YOU actually said or did
that YOU agree with and will consequently feel bad about;

So just own the mistake, chalk it up to learning, and don't let them continue to use it against you.

The fact that you have a conscience about your mistakes
demonstrates that you deserve at least some degree of forgiveness from yourself).