Five things that will make you feel happier straightaway

[ignoramus]

Where is your scientific proof that this is the case?
1. My favorite type of music is christian rock. I can't help it, it's just how I was born.
2. All my friends are complete idiots and dicks.
3. I have porphyria. (It's an allergy to the sun) Every mosquito that has bitten me has given me yellow fever.
4. I tried to help an old lady across the street once. We both were hit by a car.
5. I'm working with the worst luck ever. Do you really want me to try new things?
I swear, these motivational speakers are trying to kill me.

I like you already! You made me laugh!

I saw Stryper years ago! Not that bad!
If all your friends are idiots, are they saying the same thing?  Hehe