RE: From what I've heard, Heaven sounds like a prison.
April 2, 2011 at 6:58 pm
(This post was last modified: April 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm by reverendjeremiah.)
(March 15, 2011 at 12:44 am)ozgoat Wrote: On the subject of heaven and hell, I'd rather spend eternity in hell with all the atheists I've known than spend it in heaven with all the Christians that I've known!
I have met some cool christians and some a-hole atheists. With that said, the list of those going to Hell are far more appealing to me than the ones going to heaven. Jefferson, Sagan, Einstein, Paine.. man hell is going to be populated with some of the greatest thinkers.
(April 2, 2011 at 4:49 am)Emporion Wrote:(March 15, 2011 at 12:44 am)ozgoat Wrote: On the subject of heaven and hell, I'd rather spend eternity in hell with all the atheists I've known than spend it in heaven with all the Christians that I've known!
How about instead of letting God throw you into hell, you throw God into hell and take earth and heaven all for yourself........and sell hell on eBay!!!!!
Poor God will be at the mercy of mere people!!!!
On a better note......add another page to the Bible and write God out.
I think my joke is much funnier!!!
I have said something similar to fundies when they asked me what I will do if I see Jesus and God standing before you after your death... you look behind you and all people throughout history are there to be judged? I usually answer with something like this:
I would kick Jesus right in the nuts, and bitch slap God. Then I will stand on the arms of Gods throne and scream out to the masses "DEATH TO THE TYRANTS!!! DEATH TO THE CREATORS OF HELL!!!" and that is when Jesus and God will be bum rushed by millions and billions of non-christians. We will grab Jesus and god by the scruff of the neck and toss them into hell! We will then make an offer to the "true believers" if they want to join their beloved Jesus and if so they should jump into Hell willingly...otherwise they can join us atheists and non-christians in Heaven.
If they give me a hard time about it, I just tell them that even though I am a mortal in the physical world, I have great powers and the ability to harm and kill gods and goddesses in the spirit world.
That really gets them scratching their heads....hey, if they can make shit up on a whim, then so can I.
