(April 30, 2016 at 8:03 am)SteelCurtain Wrote: ...completely on accident. Sorry for the click-bait!!
So I've been sort of mentoring this kid from my C++ class, he's a sophomore, 18-19 years old, a little awkward. Mentoring is a strong word, I've been trying to help him socially I guess, big brother style. Anyways, he doesn't have a car so I occasionally give him a ride to his apartment, and I make him talk (he'd be perfectly silent if I didn't...) about anything and everything. We were talking about the trans laws a couple of weeks ago and I mentioned that I identify as straight, but I am more accurately on the bi spectrum. I say this to set up what happened on Thursday. I was in Murfreesboro to lead a study group for our final, and I mentioned to this kid afterwards that I was going to to the bar to watch the NFL Draft and have a few beers. I asked him if he wanted to come along, and he looked really happy and said sure. We went to the bar, and I told him it's on me. (He's a struggling college kid, and I'm not struggling at all, so I figured it was the least I could do.)
I was totally oblivious. He never mentioned he was gay (or bi, as he tells me now) and he tried to hold my hand. I have mentioned how oblivious I am to flirting in general, I guess I missed a whole lot of cues. I was just trying to be friendly, but hindsight being 20/20 and all, I see where I sent a lot of mixed signals. I feel so bad for him. I can only imagine how much guts it must have taken to hold a guy's hand in a sports bar in Middle Tennessee. It was a college bar, but still, there's no shortage of dude-bros here. Also, it's apparent that he's been crushing on me for months. I missed a lot of signals. I really only asked him to go because I thought he'd say no, he literally has zero interest in sports, and only the most idiotic fans (read: ya boi) would sit and watch the NFL Draft. Yeah, signal right in the face. Still missed it.
Now, I don't know what to do. I want to reach out and tell him he's okay, but I don't want to prolong an awkward situation for him if he's too embarrassed to talk about it. Luckily I didn't react poorly, I just said "oh, no, I'm so sorry." Damn.
What would you do?
I feel bad for him because I know that had to have been horrifying and embarrassing. You, MCB, are absolutely adorable. I accidentally do this to people all the time. I have no idea what to say you should except continue on being friends with him and hanging out with him (probably in groups outside of studying so he doesn't think you're leading him on or something) as if it never happened. You could ask him if he wants to talk about it or just forget about it.
There's not a lot you can do that won't be awkward but just try to make it obvi that nothing has changed.
I don't know how it is for you or in the specific situation, but I seriously do this to people a lot. I've tried to pay better attention to stop it from happening but I'm apparently incapable of telling the difference between friendship behavior vs flirting.
