how to hold on to atheism when things keep getting worse?
June 4, 2016 at 3:56 pm
(This post was last modified: June 4, 2016 at 4:11 pm by Rextos.)
i've had a pretty bad life and i thought it was cus god is a jerk and just wants to make me miserable, so i became atheist, but even now the way bad things just keep happening right after another makes it impossible for me to believe its just coincidence, and i feel like god is just trying to make me miserable cus i believe my life is a living hell from possibly a past life.
like these 2 months have been ridiculous, ive moved lately, and this new place sucks so much, the weather is terriblly nasty, traffic everywhere i go im looking at 20$ in gas from sitting in traffic alone, things keep breaking one after another in my apartment, and the apartment managars are impossible to get a hold of!! the only reason i moved here was cus i thought my last living situation was bad - but as always i seem to keep going from frying pan to fire.
and this last month for example!! after everything bad that happened last month, beginning of this month i found out my debit card got hacked and the people took like half the money that was in my bank!! so now im waiting for paperwork to come in mail to file a claim, and the stress of what if the paper work gets lost or my claim gets declined - on top of that last night my roof just cracked and all the rain water comes right in my bedroom!! and the water got into my tv and completely destroyed it.
and i just got into a car accident last week and now my car is all messed up...i keep telling myself, well its just a coincidence!!! the idea of god tormenting me in this hell is completely silly!! i am just an organism on this planet just like everybody else!! but i seriously just want to shoot myself cus i feel like as long as i keep living i will always be miserable. cus i feel like if atheism was 100% true, then bad things and good things would happen about 50/50, but the way they way bad things happen over and ove rto me nonstop just makes me think its not coincidence.
and im not even factoring in the daily depression i feel from not having a girlfriend, that alone makes me extremely suicidal. or how my mom emotionally abused me all my life, and how my dad doesn't want anything to do with me and talks to me like im garbage.
like these 2 months have been ridiculous, ive moved lately, and this new place sucks so much, the weather is terriblly nasty, traffic everywhere i go im looking at 20$ in gas from sitting in traffic alone, things keep breaking one after another in my apartment, and the apartment managars are impossible to get a hold of!! the only reason i moved here was cus i thought my last living situation was bad - but as always i seem to keep going from frying pan to fire.
and this last month for example!! after everything bad that happened last month, beginning of this month i found out my debit card got hacked and the people took like half the money that was in my bank!! so now im waiting for paperwork to come in mail to file a claim, and the stress of what if the paper work gets lost or my claim gets declined - on top of that last night my roof just cracked and all the rain water comes right in my bedroom!! and the water got into my tv and completely destroyed it.
and i just got into a car accident last week and now my car is all messed up...i keep telling myself, well its just a coincidence!!! the idea of god tormenting me in this hell is completely silly!! i am just an organism on this planet just like everybody else!! but i seriously just want to shoot myself cus i feel like as long as i keep living i will always be miserable. cus i feel like if atheism was 100% true, then bad things and good things would happen about 50/50, but the way they way bad things happen over and ove rto me nonstop just makes me think its not coincidence.
and im not even factoring in the daily depression i feel from not having a girlfriend, that alone makes me extremely suicidal. or how my mom emotionally abused me all my life, and how my dad doesn't want anything to do with me and talks to me like im garbage.
