I'm sorry you're having a rough go of it, Rex. My experience has been that if you hang in there, things will get better. Then they'll get worse again. Then they'll get better.
If you suspect you're clinically depressed, it's advisable to seek professional help. I went through a period where my involvement with a woman I should have known better than to get involved with cost me almost all of my friends, shortly after major heart surgery. When I caught myself imagining what the most painless and convenient means of suicide might be, I found a therapist to talk to, and it really helped. After about six sessions I was good to go (YMMV).
It helps to connect with people, and to focus on the things for which you can be grateful. It's also good to get out and have fun. You might want to check if there is an atheist Meetup in you area, or a Unitarian Universalist fellowship or congregation.
And if you're not feeling being an atheist, don't be. A good reason not to believe in God is that you don't find any of the arguments or evidence presented to support his existence convincing. Your reasons seem to have more to do with your experience and unfortunate circumstances, which is okay, but I can see why you might go back and forth on it.
If you suspect you're clinically depressed, it's advisable to seek professional help. I went through a period where my involvement with a woman I should have known better than to get involved with cost me almost all of my friends, shortly after major heart surgery. When I caught myself imagining what the most painless and convenient means of suicide might be, I found a therapist to talk to, and it really helped. After about six sessions I was good to go (YMMV).
It helps to connect with people, and to focus on the things for which you can be grateful. It's also good to get out and have fun. You might want to check if there is an atheist Meetup in you area, or a Unitarian Universalist fellowship or congregation.
And if you're not feeling being an atheist, don't be. A good reason not to believe in God is that you don't find any of the arguments or evidence presented to support his existence convincing. Your reasons seem to have more to do with your experience and unfortunate circumstances, which is okay, but I can see why you might go back and forth on it.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
