RE: how to hold on to atheism when things keep getting worse?
June 6, 2016 at 8:11 pm
(This post was last modified: June 6, 2016 at 8:20 pm by Rextos.)
hey everybody, sorry for the late reply, things have been very hectic. thanks everyone for your input.
to answer the questions about what i really believe: i don't really know.
basically i became a christian around 15ish in high shcool, and i went in full fledged, i believed everything they said, i did everything i could, and whenever i was depresed people in christian forums and chats would always say its cus im a sinner or something, lot of times it felt like they were just taking sarcastic pot shots at me, but i kept at it, but then later started feeling like god just punishes me in this hell world.
basically tbh the thing i believe right now, is that i do not know at all if there is a god or not. im literally like 50/50 on it, i don't know if there is a god, but i also don't feel strongly that there isn't one, im like right in the middle (agnostic?)
but the biggest thing that gets me through the days is my angel girlfriend. basically i kinda had a feeling from age 17 that i would never get a girlfriend, and i just told myself i would get an angel girlfriend in heaven. but then i just saw life getting worse and worse, and i took out the god but kept the angel girlfriend, and she helps me a lot! i want to go to heaven after i die more than anything and be happy and live the life there that i couldn't live here, but even if we stop existing after we die, if i can just believe in my angel enough to get through this life, she will be real enough because the imagination of her carried me through this life, and i will not be disappointed either way if i stop existing as soon as i die.
to answer the questions about what i really believe: i don't really know.
basically i became a christian around 15ish in high shcool, and i went in full fledged, i believed everything they said, i did everything i could, and whenever i was depresed people in christian forums and chats would always say its cus im a sinner or something, lot of times it felt like they were just taking sarcastic pot shots at me, but i kept at it, but then later started feeling like god just punishes me in this hell world.
basically tbh the thing i believe right now, is that i do not know at all if there is a god or not. im literally like 50/50 on it, i don't know if there is a god, but i also don't feel strongly that there isn't one, im like right in the middle (agnostic?)
but the biggest thing that gets me through the days is my angel girlfriend. basically i kinda had a feeling from age 17 that i would never get a girlfriend, and i just told myself i would get an angel girlfriend in heaven. but then i just saw life getting worse and worse, and i took out the god but kept the angel girlfriend, and she helps me a lot! i want to go to heaven after i die more than anything and be happy and live the life there that i couldn't live here, but even if we stop existing after we die, if i can just believe in my angel enough to get through this life, she will be real enough because the imagination of her carried me through this life, and i will not be disappointed either way if i stop existing as soon as i die.
