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My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 10:12 am
(This post was last modified: March 10, 2018 at 10:36 am by I_am_not_mafia.)
So it turns out that my old banger from 2004 is quite an amazing car. It talks to me telepathically and tells me when someone is about to jump out into the middle of the road, if someone is about to crash into me or whether the traffic lights are about to change. It's allowed me to avoid all kinds of accidents in the past.
I've had the garage check it out and the mechanics tell me that it is a normal car. I did explain to them that the car is telepathic, you just need to accept that before you can have a relationship with it. But to be honest they seem a little close minded and keep coming up with materialistic counter-arguments grounded in scientism. They accuse me of being ignorant of how cars work yet I know that I am more of an expert in them because none of them are spiritual and it's a spiritual car.
I personally know for sure that my car is telepathic because I can feel it talking to me but they don't seem convinced by this argument. When they demand proof then I tell them that I haven't been in an accident. This could only have happened for two reasons, either because the car is warning me in advance, or by pure luck. I calculated the chance of me not being in an accident given the myriad of random movements made while driving and found that it was statistically impossible. Then the mechanics come up with arguments from ignorance saying that they can see no way that the car could be intelligent or able to communicate telepathically with me. I tried to explain to them that it was a supernatural car but they didn't seem to understand what the word meant.
Are all mechanics this stupid?
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 10:23 am
👀 I see what you did there.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 10:26 am
Nah, only quantum mechanics are stupid. 
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 10:44 am
This is nothing more than a simple case of possession. I've seen it before.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 10:51 am
(March 10, 2018 at 10:12 am)Mathilda Wrote: So it turns out that my old banger from 2004 is quite an amazing car. It talks to me telepathically and tells me when someone is about to jump out into the middle of the road, if someone is about to crash into me or whether the traffic lights are about to change. It's allowed me to avoid all kinds of accidents in the past.
I've had the garage check it out and the mechanics tell me that it is a normal car. I did explain to them that the car is telepathic, you just need to accept that before you can have a relationship with it. But to be honest they seem a little close minded and keep coming up with materialistic counter-arguments grounded in scientism. They accuse me of being ignorant of how cars work yet I know that I am more of an expert in them because none of them are spiritual and it's a spiritual car.
I personally know for sure that my car is telepathic because I can feel it talking to me but they don't seem convinced by this argument. When they demand proof then I tell them that I haven't been in an accident. This could only have happened for two reasons, either because the car is warning me in advance, or by pure luck. I calculated the chance of me not being in an accident given the myriad of random movements made while driving and found that it was statistically impossible. Then the mechanics come up with arguments from ignorance saying that they can see no way that the car could be intelligent or able to communicate telepathically with me. I tried to explain to them that it was a supernatural car but they didn't seem to understand what the word meant.
Are all mechanics this stupid?
That's nothing. My van's CD player constantly tells me to insert ABBA CDs.
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 11:46 am
(March 10, 2018 at 10:44 am)mh.brewer Wrote: This is nothing more than a simple case of possession. I've seen it before.
In the case of my Proton Persona I'd have to agree with you. That would randomly blow up in various ways, say with the radiator spewing liquid over the expensive SUV in front that cut us up for example.
But my car tells me that it's not actually possessed, it has always been intelligent from the moment it was intelligently designed by something else that was living. Because after all, in the same way that life can't come from non-life, intelligence can't rise naturally from nothing but matter.
The car still communicates with me even when its battery is dead. I did ask it where its intelligence resided because then when I get some more money I could give it a new body, but it started using analogies of a soul being like a driver becoming meshed with a car. I didn't really understand to be honest but I was left with the impression that it became alive the moment it was conceived by the chief designer at Ford.
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 10, 2018 at 1:16 pm
Makes me wonder what you push to honk the horn.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 11, 2018 at 11:44 pm
(March 10, 2018 at 10:12 am)Mathilda Wrote: I tried to explain to them that it was a supernatural car but they didn't seem to understand what the word meant.
They'd win everything forever if their response was "No, this is a Ford C-max, not a 67' Impala"
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 12, 2018 at 12:48 am
Hey Mathilda. Does your car go round and round in circles, by any chance?
Telepathic cars love circular reasoning, I'm told.
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RE: My 2004 Ford C-max can do amazing things
March 12, 2018 at 3:33 am
(This post was last modified: March 12, 2018 at 4:00 am by I_am_not_mafia.)
(March 12, 2018 at 12:48 am)ignoramus Wrote: Hey Mathilda. Does your car go round and round in circles, by any chance?
Telepathic cars love circular reasoning, I'm told.
Wow yeah! It's often telling me to do very large circles here on the roads in the UK. I go round and round not knowing what the hell is going on and then suddenly I see a sign to where I am supposed to go and I know that the car was right all along. It somehow knew. I was sceptical at first but I've learnt to have faith in how the car directs me.
Especially if I pray to it by typing in my house number and street, then it's almost like I can actually hear it talking to me.
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