RE: Trouble dealing with family about my unbelief
May 10, 2011 at 4:44 am
(This post was last modified: May 10, 2011 at 4:45 am by Rainydays.)
That's a terrible ordeal. Fact is that hell (or heaven) is a strong psychological attack. It may not seem fair, but that's how it is. If your parents really believe that I see no way around it actually. You'll become one of the infamous ''living dead'' the Christians with ''fallen relatives'' speak of. Your parents will have to accept there are no huge ramifications, which may not be easy. Who knows, attacking their faith may make it worse and turn the situation hostile.
Also, don't be too hard on them. It's easy for us to say it's all bogus, but it doesn't work that way for them. At least they'd have to be really dishonest to be just pretending, so I won't assume that. It's a real shame it came out like this through facebook. I think all you can do now is keep the communication lines open. There is a sure way to close things down for good, if you use reasoning like this: Explain exactly why you think the way you do, but don't be overly attacking. Make sure to let them know it isn't that you don't want to believe it. Many Christians throw the ''choose God'' around these days, which is not helpful. It's childish, but if needed say you don't believe it anymore than you can fly or that there are invisible monkeys on Pluto.
There is another way to approach it, but you must thread carefully. You understand where this is going. This is the ''victim scenario.'' Let your parents know you'd still believe, if you could. That is after all not a lie. (If it's true after all why not believe it?) Bite your tongue, hear your parents out. Take all the books they have and go to church with them. What is their general attitude if you stay the way you are? This will buy you time and more importantly it keeps the communication open. There are obvious downsides, because you will get people's hopes up and you might get sucked back into it. If you do, you can't ever bring it up again and then you're stuck with it. If you don't, you're back to scenario one.
You know your parents best regarding views and communication, so the best of luck. It's probably not about who is right here, but what the most tolerable situation is.
And don't ever use your real name online again if you're a closet atheist.
Also, don't be too hard on them. It's easy for us to say it's all bogus, but it doesn't work that way for them. At least they'd have to be really dishonest to be just pretending, so I won't assume that. It's a real shame it came out like this through facebook. I think all you can do now is keep the communication lines open. There is a sure way to close things down for good, if you use reasoning like this: Explain exactly why you think the way you do, but don't be overly attacking. Make sure to let them know it isn't that you don't want to believe it. Many Christians throw the ''choose God'' around these days, which is not helpful. It's childish, but if needed say you don't believe it anymore than you can fly or that there are invisible monkeys on Pluto.
There is another way to approach it, but you must thread carefully. You understand where this is going. This is the ''victim scenario.'' Let your parents know you'd still believe, if you could. That is after all not a lie. (If it's true after all why not believe it?) Bite your tongue, hear your parents out. Take all the books they have and go to church with them. What is their general attitude if you stay the way you are? This will buy you time and more importantly it keeps the communication open. There are obvious downsides, because you will get people's hopes up and you might get sucked back into it. If you do, you can't ever bring it up again and then you're stuck with it. If you don't, you're back to scenario one.
You know your parents best regarding views and communication, so the best of luck. It's probably not about who is right here, but what the most tolerable situation is.
And don't ever use your real name online again if you're a closet atheist.
