May 1st, 2011
Dear Diary,
What a crappy day. First, one of my wives burns my breakfast. How can you burn snake and lizard eggs? If I didn't hate the thought of women learning, I would send her to cooking school. I hate not having internet access. My courier keeps bringing me flash drives with email on it, but I can't click on the link to videos in the forwards. I really wish I could see that ticklish pig everyone's talking about. Spent the day watching CNN and Fox News, nothing good on. My idiot followers haven't blown anything up for a long time and Allah is laughing at me. They're just in it for the virgins anyway. Speaking of virgins, all my wives are on the rag, and I can't even get any from the camel. I guess what they say about women synchronizing their periods is true! I'm tired of this million dollar mansion that looks like a run-down dump. We don't even have a pool! I think tomorrow I'll send my courier into town and get some vinyl shutters to replace the crappy metal awnings. If there's one good thing I can take to bed with me, diary, is that at least I can sleep easy knowing that the Americans will never find me here. I have to go now, I can't hear what my son is saying over the noise from a couple of F'ing helicopters.
Dear Diary,
What a crappy day. First, one of my wives burns my breakfast. How can you burn snake and lizard eggs? If I didn't hate the thought of women learning, I would send her to cooking school. I hate not having internet access. My courier keeps bringing me flash drives with email on it, but I can't click on the link to videos in the forwards. I really wish I could see that ticklish pig everyone's talking about. Spent the day watching CNN and Fox News, nothing good on. My idiot followers haven't blown anything up for a long time and Allah is laughing at me. They're just in it for the virgins anyway. Speaking of virgins, all my wives are on the rag, and I can't even get any from the camel. I guess what they say about women synchronizing their periods is true! I'm tired of this million dollar mansion that looks like a run-down dump. We don't even have a pool! I think tomorrow I'll send my courier into town and get some vinyl shutters to replace the crappy metal awnings. If there's one good thing I can take to bed with me, diary, is that at least I can sleep easy knowing that the Americans will never find me here. I have to go now, I can't hear what my son is saying over the noise from a couple of F'ing helicopters.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
