Ethics question for theists - serious - looking for opinions not argument.

[Drich]

Greetings to the collective brain.  Atheists are welcome to chime in on this . . . but I'm really looking for Christian responses.  I have a lot of Christian (mostly Catholic) friends, but I can't ask them, because they know the area churches and would know who I'm talking about.
     For background, I'm a lesbian.  (And an atheist.)  I play the organ for Catholic Mass once a week.  I think I'm a rare example of my breed - I told the music director and the priest about my orientation.  Before you think I'm bragging, I have NOT told the choir members.  I know that many of them would be outraged.  But I need the $$.

I have a female friend who is married to a woman.  This person gets hired to do religious retreats in churches.  She travels the country doing these retreats.  She brings a male assistant to these retreats and introduces him as her husband.  (He's gay.)  

Another friend of ours asked me yesterday if somebody shouldn't tell the churches that _____ is a lesbian.  I replied that the question made me very nervous, because if the choir knew about me, I could be fired.  I asked if she had some problem with homosexuals in the church, and she said no - but she has a problem with homosexuals that lie about their orientation and then get paid (and paid well) to lead religious retreats.  She said that the comments people made at these retreats - about how the leader is so "wonderfully spiritual and clearly inspired" and how "it's great to see a husband and wife team so dedicated to the Lord" just make her sick.

Well, I haven't told the choir folks about my orientation, and yes, I get paid, and yes, they think I'm spiritual and worshipful and blessed.  I don't correct them.  I didn't know how to respond to this person, other than to beg her not to do anything.

Thoughts?  Should somebody "out" my friend, who makes a living leading religious retreats while lying about her home life?  Should I quit playing for church?  (I probably should find another source of additional income, I know.  But I love some of these people.  I'm not a believer, but the music is fun.)

-- Fuzz

Ask the woman to put her feelings aside and pray about it look for guidance through the scripture and see if she can find an example of someone simply outting someone else for so sin or issue they have against them.

In reality the prevailing attitude for any Christian should be to go the the 'offending' brother and confront him with his sin. If he does nothing then go to an elder or deacon and have them come with you to address the issue. Now if they like your director do not have an issue with them then the matter is settled.

Mat
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed[f] in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”