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RE: Ethics question for theists - serious - looking for opinions not argument.
September 17, 2016 at 3:21 pm
(September 16, 2016 at 2:00 pm)drfuzzy Wrote:
Greetings to the collective brain. Atheists are welcome to chime in on this . . . but I'm really looking for Christian responses. I have a lot of Christian (mostly Catholic) friends, but I can't ask them, because they know the area churches and would know who I'm talking about.
For background, I'm a lesbian. (And an atheist.) I play the organ for Catholic Mass once a week. I think I'm a rare example of my breed - I told the music director and the priest about my orientation. Before you think I'm bragging, I have NOT told the choir members. I know that many of them would be outraged. But I need the $$.
I have a female friend who is married to a woman. This person gets hired to do religious retreats in churches. She travels the country doing these retreats. She brings a male assistant to these retreats and introduces him as her husband. (He's gay.)
Another friend of ours asked me yesterday if somebody shouldn't tell the churches that _____ is a lesbian. I replied that the question made me very nervous, because if the choir knew about me, I could be fired. I asked if she had some problem with homosexuals in the church, and she said no - but she has a problem with homosexuals that lie about their orientation and then get paid (and paid well) to lead religious retreats. She said that the comments people made at these retreats - about how the leader is so "wonderfully spiritual and clearly inspired" and how "it's great to see a husband and wife team so dedicated to the Lord" just make her sick.
Well, I haven't told the choir folks about my orientation, and yes, I get paid, and yes, they think I'm spiritual and worshipful and blessed. I don't correct them. I didn't know how to respond to this person, other than to beg her not to do anything.
Thoughts? Should somebody "out" my friend, who makes a living leading religious retreats while lying about her home life? Should I quit playing for church? (I probably should find another source of additional income, I know. But I love some of these people. I'm not a believer, but the music is fun.)
-- Fuzz
I would agree with the others. Lying I think; is where the ethical line is drawn. I do think that it is to be applauded that you where open with the priest, and the music director. I don't think that playing during the service, makes any requirements on what you believe, nor that you have any need to announce it to everyone. In fact if you where openly overt about it, I may think a little different (as to your motivations).
I do think that for someone leading a retreat, that things may be a little different, and what they believe may be of more note. But certainly lying about a husband I believe is crossing a line (I don't know that the money or how much is any concern).
I can somewhat understand your friends thinking in this particular circumstance. And on the other hand, I also lean towards those who say, that it is none of my business. I think that the question that needs to be asked of ones self (as honestly as is possible) is why? If it is for self (to be seen) or if it is because you wish to harm to the other person, then perhaps they should look at their motivations first. Christianity has never looked well upon gossip either.
