Ask an egg

[Crossless2.0]

Since you are 21, Lennon couldn't have had you in mind when he wrote "I Am the Walrus" . . . or did he? Was it a prophecy of your laying? If so, can we really say that Manson was wrong to think a song about a playground slide was really a harbinger of a race war? Have there been prior egg men? If so, what's that about and how long has it been going on? What do you egg people want? And what's the connection with walruses? Should I be concerned?

---

I Am the Walrus
The Beatles
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long
I am the eggman, we are the eggmen, I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
Mister city policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I'm crying I'm crying I'm crying I'm crying
Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Man, you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the eggman, we are the eggmen, I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain
'cause I am the eggman, we are the eggmen, and I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob
Expert textpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you ?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snied
I'm crying
Semolina pilchards climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe
I am the eggman, we are the eggmen, I am the walrus
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo

---

Should I be offended that you included the song, thinking that I might miss the reference?

My father grew up with the Beatles, so all I heard when I was younger was Beatles music. Personally, I've grown out of the Beatles. I still respect the work they did from Rubber Soul onward, but I don't really listen to it much. And the stuff they did prior to Rubber Soul is not very good at all.

Offended? No. It's just that . . . . . . I don't know what you darned kids know and don't know, cranky old fuck that I am.

And I agree, for the most part, with your assessment of pre-Rubber Soul material, so you're not such a bad egg, after all. The correct answer to 'what are the greatest Beatles albums' is Rubber Soul and Revolver.

Now get off my lawn!